Just in time processing on a character stream/REXX/JIT.TXT
This is the text file used by the REXX program for the Just_in_time_processing_on_a_character_stream Rosetta Code task.
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│ ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
│ │ │ │
│ │ IBM Jargon and General Computing Dictionary. │ │
│ │ Fourth Edition ─ December 1981. │ │
│ │ │ │
│ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
└──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘
The 297 items in this dictionary have been selected from the enormous
vocabulary of computer─related terms used in IBM. Those chosen are
those which are believed to be used in a way unique to IBM, or which
originated in IBM. Acronyms are generally not included unless they
are used as a word in their own right [e.g. "APAR"]. [Compiled by
Mike Cowlishaw [IBM UK Laboratories Ltd., Hursley] with grateful
acknowledgement to numerous contributors and Bass. Corrections and
additions are most welcome.]
ABEND ─── [ab─end] 1. n. Undesirable termination of a program [or
system]. From 'ABnormal ENDing'. Invariably due to human error
that the system was unable to overcome or ignore. Typically results
in catch─all error messages [e.g: "syntax error"] that rarely help
determine the cause. 2. v. To end abnormally. See also Crash.
Account Situation ─── n. Circumstances at a customer installation which
could lead to IBM losing revenue, usually accompanied by accusations
that IBM is not delivering adequate service. A "red alert" status
for a branch office.
Action Plan ─── n. Project management is never satisfied by just a
plan. The only acceptable plans are Action Plans.
Adder ─── n. An increment. "These costs won't look so attractive with
the burden and inflation adders." Nominated for most obnoxious
neologism of 1980.
Address ─── v. Talk about. Used when a speaker cannot answer a
question. e.g: "I shall address that subject another time". [This
implies that, of course, the speaker has considered the subject in
great depth, but sadly has not enough time now to give it the
treatment it deserves...]. See Offline.
Adjective ─── v. To use a word as an adjective modifying some other
word which in fact modifies the adjectived word. This avoids the
normal use of prepositions and dependent clauses, as in "user
effects" [instead of "effects on users" or "effects caused by
users"]. Another example is "That is a documentation hit" [rather
than "That is a hit on the documentation"]. See Verb.
Adtech ─── n. Time put aside for a risk project [Advanced Technology].
May mean: a] Play time [when someone else is doing it]; b]
Exciting, innovative system design with NO product deadlines [when
speaker is doing it].
Aggressive ─── adj. Optimistic. "We are moving into the new
technology on a very aggressive schedule."
Announce ─── n. The time at which a new product is described to
customers. Before this time a product is known by a code─name, and
specifications are strictly confidential. At Announce time, the
product is assigned a number instead of a name, with the result that
not even the developers know what it is anymore...
APAR ─── [ay─parr] 1. n. 'Authorized Program Analysis Report'. This is
an official report of an error to IBM. The acronym is used so often
that most people don't know what it means. 2. v. To make such a
report. 3. n. A golf term [like ABIRDIE, ABOGIE].
APL Bigot ─── n. APL ['A Programming Language'] is a popular,
mathematically oriented, unreadable, interactive language. Usage:
1: "An APL bigot does not know there are any other programming
languages". 2: "She's an APL bigot ─ cannot speak English". See
Bigot.
Architect ─── v. To decide how something should work. Usage: "We will
have that architected by year end".
Architectural Awareness ─── n. Site Facilities' version of Feature. A
popular variety is a column placed directly in front of a door,
claimed to be deliberate. [Warning: At the Glendale Lab.,
Endicott, you will be offered attractive bets that this has never
happened. DO NOT ACCEPT!]
Architecture ─── 1. n. The way something works. Usage: "They are
developing a new disk architecture". 2. adj. Documentation.
Usually in the form "architecture group" that denotes a group of
people who go around finding out how the most highly esteemed IBM
products or planned products work and then document them. These
documents then become the IBM "standard architecture" or "strategic
architecture" which the rest of the [IBM] world has to follow.
Award ─── n. In Research, a cash prize often given to signify the end
of a project [whether successful or not]. Elsewhere, an arbitrary
cash prize; often associated with [but not proportional to] merit.
Back─level ─── adj. Not updated with the latest changes: "Your system
is back─level, so there is no way you can run this new
super─program!"
Bells and Whistles ─── n. Frills added to a product, to make it more
exciting without making it much better.
Big Blue ─── n. 1. IBM [when used by customers and competitors]. 2.
Data Processing Division [when used by GBG or GBG/I].
Big OS ─── n. Pronounced "OZ". Popular in the late 60's when "OS" was
THE operating system, and it was said to do and know everything.
Bigot ─── adj. Person with a passionate or religious fervour for a
language or system e.g: "APL Bigot", "REX bigot", "CMS Bigot".
Implies an unwillingness to learn/use any alternative, except when
the term is used used by one bigot to another [of the same type], in
which case the implication is almost affectionate.
Blow away ─── v. Destroy. "The editor crashed and blew away all my
files".
Bomb ─── v. Synonym for Crash [in USA only ─ to real English speakers
the word has the opposite meaning when used as an adjective. e.g.
"that sports car goes like a bomb"...]
Boondoggle ─── n. Conference with a large admixture of pleasure with
business.
Bubblegum ─── n. The Boeblingen Lab. Americans have three alternatives
in trying to pronounce 'Boeblingen': a] 'BO─BLINN─GEN' makes you
sound as if you have never heard the word spoken and are clearly
"out of it"; b] 'BER─BLING─EN' [the most popular variant] sounds
like you KNOW what it sounds like but cannot pronounce it yourself
[probably true]; c] the correct pronunciation leaves you open to
accusations of intellectual snobbery by the first two groups.
Calling it "Bubblegum" defuses the whole issue by making it a joke.
Bullet ─── n. One of a list of items to be emphasised, usually marked
by a blob alongside it on a Foil. "And the next bullet is the most
important∙∙∙".
Business case ─── n. Economic [commercial] justification. Asking for
the business case is an effective wet blanket to throw on a hot
project.
Candy─Striped ─── adj. Registered IBM Confidential. Refers to the Red
and White diagonal markings on the covers of such documents. Also
used as a verb: "Those figures have been Candy─Striped".
Cast in Concrete ─── adj. Immutable. Used when specifications are
"frozen" and are therefore unchangeable. This takes place a few
days before the first prototype is available for general usability
testing, so minimising the work of the development group.
Effectively acts as a wet blanket should further urgently needed
changes be proposed.
"Cave of the Winds" ─── n. DPD HQ. The term refers to the famous cave
of the same name. The DPD HQ building was named for the cave
because of all the hot air alleged to circulate spontaneously
therein.
Caveat ─── n. A communication technique favoured in DPD that affords a
presenter the opportunity to give an illusion of speaking frankly
and candidly to an audience. Done well, the caveat [warning] will
relax the defenses of an otherwise critical audience, lulling it
into accepting the token statement at face value. "The customer
must first effect an operational SNA environment. This is not
always an easy task, but has been done in one day at several
accounts."
Central Electronics Complex ─── n. CPU. [CEC sounds more impressive].
Change Control ─── n. One of the System Management disciplines, from
which DP centre staff derive the warm feeling that they are in
control of their computer installation. Known sardonically by the
users who must actually live with the insidious overheads generated
by the various implementations of the discipline as "blame control".
Check ─── n. From "machine check". "The CPU took three checks before
lunch". Also used for software [program checks]. See Hit.
Chocolate ─── adj. Enhanced flavour, e.g. a modified version of a
program. Rare. See Vanilla.
Clean up ─── v. Improve a sloppy program, system, or procedure. "We
have to clean up the SPIE exit". A clean up should convert
decadence to elegance.
CLIP ─── v. To change the pack label on a DASD volume. The term CLIP
stood for Change Label Information Program. Usually IPL'd from
cards, this program not only changed the serial number but also
other items in the volume label area. Of course, these other
capabilities were never used so CLIPping became synonomous with
changing VOLSER.
COBOL Programmer ─── n. This is a very negative term. COBOL is not
highly regarded in IBM; almost no one in IBM can program in it.
Generally COBOL programmers are not regarded as programmers at all,
if that is all they can code.
Cold Pricklies ─── n. A nagging suspicion that somewhere you have
overlooked something critical, and will be punished for it. See
Warm Fuzzies.
Command Language ─── n. Set of magical incantations. Can bring great
blessings on the user; but like all good spells, misuse or use by
the ignorant [See Naive User] can bring great woe.
Concern ─── n. Formal indication from one group to another that the
first is [very] worried about some action by the other. See Issue,
Non─Concur.
Concur ─── v. To give an irrevocable [often written] agreement.
"Product Assurance concur [that the product be shipped]"
Core ─── n. An archaic term used to refer to the ferrite cores used as
the main storage medium for early computers. It is now something of
a fad to studiously avoid this term, and use the more meaningful and
general term "storage" instead.
Core Dump ─── n. A briefing. Usage: "Give me a five─minute core dump
on SNA before the staff meeting". See Core, Dump.
Counter─strategic ─── adj. 1. Applied to suggestions that one would
like to ignore. "Not the basket in which IBM has placed its eggs".
2. Something that causes embarrassment to those who are responsible
for what is strategic. See Strategic.
Crash ─── 1. v. To halt in an unrecoverable manner unexpectedly.
Almost never preceded by a warning message except when crash is
deliberate. Usually indicates human error in hardware or software
[or even firmware]. "The system has crashed AGAIN". 2. n. the event
of crashing. "That was a bad Crash".
Critical service ─── n. A hot bug fix. See Service.
CRU ─── [crew] n. Customer Replaceable Unit. Part of a device [such as
a keyboard] that is considered to be replaceable by a customer or
End User. [Fix it yourself.] See FRU.
Customer ─── n. Any individual not currently working for IBM.
CYA ─── v. To protect your rear [typically by generating Documents of
Understanding and obscure memos and the like which will prove, if
necessary, that the author knew all along that the project was
doomed to failure]. Variously estimated to consume between 71% and
78% of all managerial resources at most development labs.
DEBE ─── 1. n. "Does Everything But Eat" ─ general 360/370 utility for
moving data from device to device. Originally a stand alone program
[i.e. it did not require an operating system], named after its
authors. 2. v. To try as a last resort. "Nothing else works, let's
DEBE it".
Deck ─── n. A file usually in Fixed─80 [card] format, as in "text
deck".
Decommit ─── v. To slip your schedule for an indefinite period of time.
A grave dishonour for project management.
Delta ─── n. List of changes [e.g. the differences between two
programs]. "Make me a Delta on that proposal".
Demo ─── n. Demonstration. Exhibition of non─functioning or unfinished
hardware or software to senior management or VIP visitors. Provides
ideal conditions for disturbing unsuspected bugs.
Demonstration Application Program ─── n. Game.
Dialogue ─── 1. n. Pompous alternative to "conversation" or "chat". 2.
v. Talk to, as in "Why don't you call Steve and dialogue with him
about that project".
Disclaimer ─── n. A boiler plate blanket statement that disassociates
and relieves a presenter of any responsibility from conclusions his
audience may have reached as a result of his statements, regardless
of whether the conclusions were intended or not. Commonly used in
IBM customer hardware or software proposals and performance
presentations.
"Disneyland East" ─── n. DPD Headquarters [see 1133 below]. This term
gained such widespread use that several years ago a middle manager
somewhere actually sent out a memo forbidding its use.
Distributed Data Processing ─── n. 1. [Official IBM version] A
methodology for selling small CPUs for use at remote sites. 2.
[Unofficial version] A methodology for spreading competitor's minis
and micros around remote sites, as there is no 4321.
Divisions ─── n. 1. Any territory outside New York State, or north of
Interstate 84, or west of the Hudson River. 2. Derogatory term used
in Research to describe the rest of IBM. "That idea came from the
Divisions". See also NIH.
Document Administrator ─── n. Quote from GML manual: "One who is
responsible for defining markup conventions and procedures for an
installation. This involves defining the actual vocabulary of tags
to be used and also the nature of the processing required for each".
Need one say more?
Document of Understanding ─── n. A memo used to present one party's
view of a contract in the best possible light. Usually shows little
or no understanding of the other party's problems.
Dog and Pony Show ─── n. A presentation designed to [over]impress.
Implies a certain amount of cynicism and deception, and contempt for
the audience.
Domestic ─── adj. The U.S. parts of IBM. Used by U.S. IBMers to
imply all that really matters in IBM. Used by everyone else to
describe an insular approach to a problem "He's Domestic ─ thinks
everyone speaks American".
Dotted to ─── v. Describes a managerial relation that cannot be
described as a tree. Refers to the [dashed] lines shown on
organisation charts. Usually used for professionals [lawyers and
accountants] whose managers do not understand what they do so they
are "dotted to" someone in Armonk.
Doubleword ─── n. 8 bytes [an IBM S/370 Word is 4 bytes, or 32 bits].
See also Halfword.
Down ─── n. Crashed. The state of the system when you need one more
listing and you are already late for your plane.
Down level ─── adj. Applied to a person that is not up to date with
some technical nuance. [Derived from FE terminology applied to
software.]
Dump ─── n. Collection of all available information about a problem,
usually deposited on the slowest printing device available. The
"Garbage out" part of "Garbage In, Garbage Out".
DWIM Instruction ─── [like swim] n. "Do What I Mean" ─ a mythical
instruction invoked by a frustrated programmer to give acceptable
results when in fact he could not define what he meant [but would
recognize it if he saw it]. Also invoked when the last instruction
issued to the machine was disasterous: "Do what I mean, not what I
say, you dumb machine!"
Ease─of─use ─── n. 1. An ill─defined but positive quality only achieved
by products of the speaker's company. 2. A quality claimed for all
programming languages, to demonstrate superiority over machine
languages or lower level languages. OS JCL is a fine
counter─example to this claim.
End User ─── n. A hypothetical non─IBM person, probably of IQ less than
95, who is expected to represent the biggest group of users of IBM
equipment in the future. It is not known whether the low IQ is the
cause, effect, or is unrelated to this change of usage.
Engineering Change ─── n. yet another attempt to get a machine to meet
customer expectations.
Enhancement ─── n. fix for a problem that has been reported too often
to be ignored. See Feature.
Escalate ─── v. To take a matter to higher [managerial] authority.
Very effective as a threat.
Europe ─── n. that part of the [IBM] world that consists of Israel,
South Africa, and the European countries ─ excluding g the Eastern
Bloc.
Exposure ─── n. 1. Some aspect of a project that looks as though it may
become a problem. "That's a big exposure". 2. Danger, risk. A
necessary synonym, since the words are not otherwise found in the
IBM vocabulary.
Facility ─── n. Usually a program or software package whose function is
[by definition of its authors] useful. Facility is usually a
misnomer, however, as the programs that are accredited this grand
description are often exceedingly complicated and difficult to use.
Fall over ─── v. Synonymous with ABEND, Crash. As in "One of the
2305's fell over last night and took CP with it".
Fall Plan ─── n. A period of three months occurring every autumn
[Fall], when most productive work stops for a general free─for─all
about which projects are to be considered strategic. The plan, once
adopted, is ignored. See Spring Plan.
Fat, Dumb and Happy ─── adj. Typically used of a project's management
who think their project is competitive when it is not.
FCS ─── n. First Customer Ship. The time at which products are first
delivered to customers, usually cause for celebration. ["Pub
Time".] Also is the time at which FE starts fixing the bugs that
were discovered too late in the development cycle to be corrected.
[See also Announce.]
Feature ─── n. 1. Bug for which no fix is going to be made available.
2. A correction to a publication. See Enhancement.
Field ─── n. The IBM marketplace ─ where the profits come from.
Fix ─── n. A correction for a software problem. "You need the
following three fixes to correct the file system bug". Software
equivalent of Engineering Change.
Flipchart ─── n. Large piece of paper used for drawing charts as a
presentation aid. Often faintly marked with 2.54mm squares to help
the presenter keep straight. Favoured at Corporate HQ, but
superseded elsewhere by Foils.
Floor System ─── adj. The operating system used by the majority of
people on a machine [as opposed to a test or private system]. See
Spin System.
Foil ─── n. Viewgraph, transparency, viewfoil. Only 'Foil' is used in
IBM. It is the most popular of the three presentation media ─
slides, foils, and flipcharts ─ except at Corporate HQ, where
flipcharts are required.
Follow─on ─── n. A new release of a product, sufficiently different to
merit a new product number but including all the bugs and problems
of the previous product architecture.
Forecast ─── n. A prophecy of the number of sales of a product as a
function of price at which it will be offered, typically made by
people who have never used or sold such products and based upon wild
guesses by some people who have. The forecast has no relationship
to either the quality of the product or the value as it might be
perceived by the potential customer, since no one is allowed to
discuss the product with the customer at this stage. Thus a
forecast is either strikingly inaccurate for a low price and large
number of sales, or a painfully self─fullfilling prophecy if it is
high priced and low volume.
Fort Apache ─── n. East Fishkill. The term derives from the shape of
the building, whose second story overhangs the first.
Frank ─── n. The chairman of the board, Frank Cary. "If you don't like
it, go talk to Frank".
Freezer ─── n. Place where Task Force results are stored [e.g. a filing
cabinet to which no one has the key]. See Task Force.
Frozen ─── adj. a term which when applied to an IBM project means that
some higher level of management has cooled sufficently to enable
them to successfully quench any red─hot or innovative idea which
might be relevant to the project. See Cast─in─Concrete.
FRU ─── [frew] n. Field Replaceable Unit. Part of a device [such as a
logic card] that is considered to require an IBM Field Engineer [FE]
to replace. [The factory doesn't want to hear about your problems.
They have enough of their own. Call the FE.] See CRU.
FS ─── n. A synonym for dreams that didn't come true. "That project
will be another FS".
Full court press ─── n. Instruction to an entire marketing team to
press an account at all levels possible [from the basketball term].
Fun & Games ─── n. Anything that does not directly result in short term
revenue to the corporation.
Functionally Stabilized ─── adj. Dead. A product that will receive no
further enhancements.
Funny Money ─── adj. Budget dollars. Have a hypothetical, play─money
value ─ felt especially by those employees to whom the dollar is not
the native unit of currency.
Get in bed ─── v. Work closely with. Usage: "You will just have to
get in bed with those people in Raleigh".
Glass ─── n. Silicon Chips. Usage: "We can't get the upleveled
hardware until the new glass gets through Fishkill". See Iron.
Glass Teletype ─── n. Before the 3101 was announced: any non─IBM
"dumb" CRT. After the 3101 was announced: the 3101.
Go Away ─── v. To vanish inexplicably. Normally used in a kind of
prayer or litany: "with a bit of luck, that problem will go away
when we install Release XXX.."..
Go Faster Stripes ─── n. Frills added to a hardware product, to make it
appear to run better. IBM hardware does not need these, of course.
See Bells and Whistles.
Go to the Mat ─── v. fight it out by going to higher authority [from
the wrestling term]. See Escalate.
Green Card ─── n. Quick reference summary information printed on a
large folded sheet of heavy paper, usually yellow or white. Refers
to the original [green] S/360 reference card which is an outstanding
example of the genre.
Guru ─── n. A professional expert. Overtly a term of respect, but can
convey an undertone of contempt for one who would invest large
amounts of time in a subject which the speaker does not consider
sufficiently important to become expert in himself.
Halfword ─── n. 2 bytes [an IBM S/370 Word is 4 bytes, or 32 bits].
Especially confusing term when used to describe a 16─bit data item
on a 16─bit machine whose "word─length" is 16 bits. See also
Doubleword.
"Hall of Winds" ─── n. See "Cave of the Winds".
Hands On ─── n. 1. Time spent in exploration of a new piece of
equipment. "After the class we will go down to the DP Center for
some hands on." 2. Access to equipment. "I have the programs
written, but I can't get any hands on until Thursday."
Hardwire ─── v. When used with software, it means coding as a constant
a parameter you would normally like to be changeable. "The Userid
of the receiving machine is hardwired as DATASTAG". "The spool
space constant is hardwired at 53%".
Head Crash ─── n. The event in which a read/write head forgets how to
fly over the surface of a disk, and gouges up priceless data.
Headcount ─── n. The number of personnel currently allocated to a
manager or project. Headcount is the major measure of the size of a
person's empire or the importance of a project, and is therefore
increased whenever possible. Unfortunately most managers still
believe that nine women can produce a baby in one month.
Hit ─── n. Error. May be hardware or software. "My system took 3 hits
before it crashed". See Check.
Hook ─── n. A piece of hardware or software which is added to a product
to allow future extensions or additions, but which is not necessary
for the basic function.
Hot Button ─── n. Topic currently of great interest to someone who
matters [i.e., some big shot]. Implies impermanence, and some
contempt. The hot button of today is likely to be of only passing
interest tomorrow. Current examples: "Usability", "Quality".
How Hard Would It Be ─── n. Plaintive litany used when venturing
suggestions for changes. Immediately precedes some preposterously
difficult proposal which to the requestor seems simple. From
experienced users, a wry acknowledgement that the proposition may
well be costly, but is nevertheless desirable. "How Hard Would It
Be ... to remove the length restriction on Userids?" See also
WIBNE.
I didn't change Anything ─── n. "Something has changed but I have no
idea what". Plaintive cry preceding feelings of the Cold Pricklies.
I/S ─── n. Information Systems. The function that manages the computer
installations at some IBM sites. Optimists thought it stood for
"Information Services" until they became users.
IBM ─── n. 1. Acronym for the name of a certain large Corporation. 2. A
hypothetical 370 instruction, existence strongly suspected but not
yet proven: "Insert Bug under Mask". 3. Itty─Bitty Machines. 4.
Immense Blue Mountain/Monolith. 5. "I've Been Moved", alluding to
the favourite game of departmental and divisional reorganisations.
6. "It's Better Manually" 7. Hudson River Valley Works [much of that
valley, in New York State, is owned by IBM].
IBM Confidential ─── adj. 1. Proprietary information relating to
personnel or technical matters. 2. Information that is embarrassing
to IBM.
IBM Internal Use Only ─── adj. Information that is confidential but
which the classifier does not wish to keep locked away.
Ibmox ─── [ib─em─ox] v. To copy xerographically. "I Xeroxed a copy....
sorry, I Ibmoxed a copy of that report on your desk."
In a ditch ─── adj. Non─functional. As in "That program is on its
back in a ditch". See Down, Crashed.
In─plan ─── adj. What marketing wants [see Out─plan].
Incredible ─── adj. A famous memo issued by FE management suggested
the word "Incredible" as a possible alternative to the term
"Bullshit", which apparently was being overused in meetings.
Thereafter, the exclamation "Incredible!" could be heard ringing
through the halls, accompanied by laughter from those understanding
the translation, and expressions of bewilderment from the others.
Innovate ─── v. Change for the sake of change, preferably making
previous programs or systems malfunction.
Interactive ─── adj. Modern. Usually associated with typing at CRT
display terminals. Supposed to carry the connotation of fast,
pleasant, and making full use of "modern" techniques and technology.
Usage: "Of course, we will follow up with an interactive version".
Interface ─── v. 1. [Of humans] talk. "I'm going to interface to Joe
Bleh, the new DP Manager". 2. [Of machines] connect. "I'm going to
interface the black box to the [big] blue box".
IPL ─── v. Initial Program Load. Restart after operating system has
crashed. Used to indicate starting anything from scratch: e.g.
"She IPL's on coffee each morning". Also IML [Initial Microcode
Load], or IMPL [Initial Micro Program Load].
Iron ─── n. Computing machinery. Prevalent among hardware people to
describe "boxes" [blue or otherwise].
Iron Mountain ─── n. Permanent document storage. "We'll send these
files to Iron Mountain". Originally, a vendor specializing in
securing backup documentation from nuclear attack; now any archival
storage. Not a good place to put data you ever want to use again.
See Wansdyke.
Ironmonger ─── n. Derogatory term used by some "pure" software people
to designate hardware people. Generally indicates that the speaker
is ignorant about hardware matters.
Issue ─── n. Formal indication from one group to another that the first
is dissatisfied with some action by the other, and is prepared to
take the matter to the next level of management to resolve the
problem. See Concern, Non─Concur.
JCL ─── n. Job Control language. This was one of IBM's first attempts
to make computing easy ─ JCL has only 5 command verbs.
Unfortunately, one of these verbs has grown to have over 192
different modifiers. See Command Language.
Joint Study ─── n. A way to get a customer to invest resources into IBM
development, and so commit him to buying the IBM product when it
becomes available.
ney ─── adj. Important. Derived from the old term "key part" in
theatre, it is used when the speaker cannot explain why it is
important. "It is absolutely Key to choose this strategy".
Kipper ─── adj. Used to describe the speed of 370's and Mini─Computers
that do not manage to achieve a million instructions per second. A
"KIP" is a thousand [kilo─] instructions per second [see note under
MIPS], hence a "300 Kipper" is a machine that runs at 0.3 MIPS.
KIPS ─── n. Thousands of instructions per second. Derivative of MIPS.
See Kipper.
KISS principle ─── n. "Keep It Simple, Stupid". Usually quoted when
developing a product in restricted time, e.g. due to marketing
pressures. Not usually adhered to by IBM software development
teams.
Leading Edge ─── adj. Used to describe technology that is five years
out of date and is therefore mature enough to be used in a product.
Level One ─── n. Level One is the lowest level of customer support. If
a customer really has a problem, he has to somehow get the Level One
person to refer the problem to a real Guru, the Level Two support.
If IBM also considers the problem significant, the customer may then
be "Level Two'd".
Level set ─── v. To get everyone to the same level of knowledge to be
used as a base for further progress. i.e. short pitch to define
terms, etc. "Before you start, let's level set everyone".
Line Item ─── n. Major part of a new release of a [usually software]
product. One of the highlights.
Listing ─── n. 1. Hardcopy print─out, usually of a program or
algorithm. 2. The assembly─ or machine─ language part of such a
print─out.
Lunatic Fringe ─── n. Used in Marketing to denote customers who will
always take Release 1 of any new IBM product.
Macro ─── n. A macro is usually a kind of in─line subroutine. In IBM
it is still fashionable to write macros in outlandish and preferably
unreadable languages, usually abounding with characters that are
awkward to type on standard keyboards. This makes it appear very
skillful to write Macros, when in fact the main attributes required
are those of Good Humour and Patience. See &.
Microcode ─── n. Any software the customer cannot get his hands on.
Migration ─── n. The term used to specify how a customer is to change
to a new hardware or software package, replacing currently installed
packages which are probably viewed as being completely satisfactory.
'Incentives', such as, "If you do not migrate we will not support
anything else", are usually applied to 'prod' to customer into
making the change.
Mini─Computer ─── n. Any machine with a non─370─compatible architecture
that runs under 3 MIPS. Also Mini. See Vector processor.
MIPS ─── n. 1. Millions of Instructions Per Second [although often
used, the term "1 MIP" is incorrect "One Million Instructions
Per..". what? year?] 2. Misleading Indication of Processor Speed.
Mixed Case ─── adj. Describes commentary, system messages, etc. that
are easy to read and understand. Usage: rare.
Modulate ─── v. Change. "Let's modulate our approach to this problem".
Module ─── n. General purpose noun, can mean almost anything. Some
current favourites: a section of code; a package of circuitry
containing 1 or more chips; a unit of instruction; or a temporary
building.
Motherhood ─── n. Used to describe a common attitude of software
development groups toward their underlings [i.e. the users of their
software]. It is attributable to the fact that designers often
believe their creations to be the 'final solution', to which no
possible improvement could be conceived. "Why don't they distribute
source code?" ... "Motherhood, pure motherhood".
MSG ─── v. [message] To communicate via a computer─transmitted message,
rather than by telephone. Usage: "MSG me when you are ready to go
to lunch".
MVS ─── n. Man Versus System.
Naive User ─── n. 1. Someone new to the computer game, viewed with a
mixture of sympathy and pity. 2. [when applied to someone not─so─new
to the game] A person who cannot chew gum and walk in a straight
line at the same time.
Need to know ─── n. Phrase wielded when someone wishes to avoid passing
on a piece of information, usually because the information would be
embarrassing. "Do you have a need to know?"
Net ─── v. To send by computer network [as opposed to tape or mail].
"I'll net you the files tomorrow".
NIH ─── adj. "Not Invented Here" or "Not In─House". Possibly more
common inside IBM than outside, though of course IBM's house is
larger than most.
No Problem Found ─── n. Colloquialism used by Software/Hardware
maintenance people to indicate that they were unable to reproduce
the users' problem. A gentle way of asking for more information.
Also No Trouble Found.
NO─OP ─── 1. n. No─operation. An instruction to do nothing [used to
fill up space or time during execution of a program]. 2. n. Implies
ineffectiveness. Usage: "He's the biggest no─op I have ever seen".
3. v. To make ineffective: "I'll no─op it".
Non─Concur ─── v. The ultimate threat. Makes any project management
quake ─ grown men have been known to cry when threatened with this.
Formal indication from one group to another that the first is
convinced that the second is about to cause a major disaster, and
that therefore the first group is prepared to escalate the matter as
high as necessary to resolve the problem. See Concern, Issue.
Non─strategic ─── adj. Embarrassingly superior to what is strategic.
It is permissible to to attribute defects to a non─strategic project
even when nothing is known about it. In GBG it is automatically
non─strategic to have a Big Blue solution to Office Systems needs.
See Strategic, Big Blue.
NUCON ─── adj. Originally a CMS term for the NUcleus CONstant area.
Static area in 370 page zero. Now used as a term for a programmer
who will not write reentrant code: "He has NUCON mentality".
OEM ─── n. From "Original Equipment Manufacturer". Inside IBM it means
"Other Equipment Manufacturer". See Vendor.
Offering ─── n. A product release: "the next offering will have that
feature".
Offline ─── n. Means "later, in private" e.g: "let's take that
offline". Used by speakers when a question has been asked and a]
the speaker does not know the answer; or b] he has a detailed answer
which is probably not of interest to most of the audience; or c] the
speaker does know the answer, and it is of interest, but he does not
want to state it publicly.
Open Kimono ─── v. 1. Reveal everything to someone. Once you have gone
open kimono, you have nothing more to hide. [This is the more
common meaning.] 2. To give someone a tantalising glimpse of a
project [i.e., enough to get him interested but not enough to give
any secrets away]. [This is an interesting example of the same
jargon having two rather different meanings. This can cause amusing
misunderstandings at times.]
OS ─── n. Any of the operating systems MVS, SVS, MFT, MVT, or VS1.
These operating systems all grow from "OS/360", the first widespread
360 Operating System. See Big OZ. The term OS excludes such
operating systems as CP/67, VM/370, TSS, ACP.
Out─plan ─── adj. What development wants [see In─plan].
Outside Awareness ─── n. Window. Some IBM offices and [especially]
laboratories are totally lacking in windows, but at last someone has
noticed that people work better with a view. So new offices are
specified to have Outside Awareness.
Paper Chase ─── n. [also Paper Game] An officially sanctioned version
of the infamous chain letter. E.g. person A sends a letter to
person B, copying persons C and D. Persons B, C as well as D may
reply, copying each other and incidentally persons E, F, G, H and I.
Person A, in self─defence, responds to all, this time via a
distribution list including persons B through I and anyone else he
can think of who might be remotely interested. The next step is
usually a meeting, to which the persons on the distribution list
each invite one or more members of their respective departments.
The process usually runs down when the list of players gets large
enough that the secretary attempting to book the meetings which
follow cannot find a time─slot acceptable to all.
Paren ─── n. 1. Short for parenthesis. Many people have forgotten that
parenthesis is the real word. CMS users seldom bother to balance
them. Many user─written CMS programs flag the presence of a closing
right parenthesis as an error. 2. The character "(", used in
conversation to pair with "Thesis", e.g. the string "A(B)" might be
described as "A Paren B Thesis". Especially favoured by LISP
programmers, burdened by many such.
Penalty Box ─── n. When an executive is transferred from a position of
power to one of less power, he is said to be "going to the penalty
box". This usually occurs as a result of being visibly associated
with a failed project [see FS]. Favoured penalty boxes are Research
[see Sandbox], Group Staff, or Branch Manager of a remote or
moribund location. Another technique is to keep the offender at the
same location, but put him in charge of a meaningless project [e.g.
"Productivity" or "Standards"]. Variation: "He got five years for
fighting." See Walk in the Woods.
Perfect Programmer Syndrome ─── n. "Since my program is right, there is
no need to test it". Or: "Yes, I can see there may be a problem
here, but I'll never type SHUTDOWN on the RSCS console when there is
a CP read up".
Personal Computer ─── n. 1. Before 14 August, 1981: A computer
intended to be used by one person, who is local to it and does not
time─share it. A catch─all for home computers, hobby computers,
professional workstations, and probably a few Cray─1's. 2. After 14
August, 1981: The IBM 5150. It is too early to evaluate the
effects of this latest wordnapping.
Phase 0 ─── adj. From "Phase 1 review" which is the first official
review of a project. A "Phase 0 review" is a preliminary review,
often conducted as a trial run for the real Phase 1. Hence, "do a
Phase 0 estimate" means "do a preliminary estimate".
PID ─── [pidd] adj. The version of a program as shipped to customers.
From Program Information Department. "Unfortunately, we have to run
the PID version". See Vanilla.
Pitch ─── n. Presentation. "Are you going to the XYZ pitch in the
auditorium?"
Plan of Record ─── n. Plan. A "Plan of Record" has by implication
extra solidity ─ though in fact it is the least reliable plan of
all, since product plans always change. It sounds better in
memoranda, to some ears. See Action Plan.
Play ─── v. To spend one's own time on a project. e.g. "I'm staying
this evening to play with the new XYZ program". It seems that most
really usable software derives from such play.
Play Pen ─── n. Room where programmers work.
Point ─── n. A measurement of the IBM list price of a product,
equivalent to a dollar monthly rental.
Pokieland ─── n. The Poughkeepsie area. The term is mainly used by
people outside Pokieland.
POP ─── n. Principles of Operation [for the S/360 and later the S/370].
Probably one of the best DP documents ever written. The source of
the Ultimate Truth for DPD.
Power Eraser Dispenser ─── n. The ultimate unnecessary feature. See
Bells and Whistles.
Pre─announce ─── v. To discuss in public hardware or software which has
not been announced.
Product Tester ─── n. Those who have been to the mountain; keepers of
the word; interpreters of the Specifications. Used interchangeably
with sophist. Research has shown that most were given chemistry
sets or electronic kits at an impressionable age by well meaning but
misguided parents.
Prototype ─── 1. n. The first implementation of some idea in the form
originally envisioned for it by the original innovator. Generally
unrelated in form, function, and cost to the final production
version. 2. v. a] To implement a working system fast, i.e. by
"unconventional" methods. b] To implement a 'model' system that has
to be replaced by a "proper" system later ─ in case anyone realises
how simple computer programming is.
PSE ─── n. Preliminary Sales Estimate. Qualified guess [i.e. a random
number] at how many units of a product will be sold. Nobody except
a forecaster can explain why this is different from a forecast. See
Forecast.
PTF ─── n. "A Program Temporary Fix". This is an official IBM
temporary fix. The acronym is used so often that most people don't
know what it means. PTF's are permanent fixes in some systems.
PTM ─── n. "Program Trouble Memorandum". The same as an APAR, but
generated internally, before a program is shipped.
Pulse ─── n. A temporary change in the level of a logic signal of at
least 50ns duration. [Pulses narrower than this cannot exist, as
they cannot be detected by the standard issue FE logic probe.
Naturally this makes it difficult to design modern high performance
equipment.]
Punch ─── v. To transmit data electronically from one disk pack to
another. Often these disk packs can be around the world from one
another but just as often can be the exact same one. A VM/370 term.
Usage: "Punch me that jargon file".
Qualified ─── adj. Vendor part that has been tested six ways from
Sunday and approved for use in IBM products. Generally a well known
product whose identity is subsequently disguised behind a twelve
digit IBM part number. Since the original part number is no longer
available, the only specifications available are those produced by
Fishkill testing lab which tend to give no hint of what the part
really is.
Quality ─── n. A popular hot button characterised by the slogan: "Do
it right, first time". A laudable aim, pounced on with glee by
product managers who claim that they do their design right, first
time, and that therefore testing with real users is obviously a
waste of time.
Reach─around ─── n. Communication which does not just go up the
management chain or down it, but rather goes up the chain and then
returns to the original level as a response. Usage: very rare.
Read ─── v. To move data from one disk pack on your system to another.
A VM/370 term. Usually the source disk is owned by the spooling
system and the destination disk is dedicated to a user. Usage:
"Please read that new file onto your disk".
Reader ─── n. 1. A temporary place on a disk pack to place data until a
user decides exactly what he wants to do with it. 2. Also used as a
place on a disk pack where one user puts data so that another user
has a good chance of finding it.
Recursive ─── adj. An object that refers to itself. See Recursive.
Reference ─── n. A document which contains a minimum of information and
is quite useless to a new user. As in: "This document is not a
tutorial, it is a Reference".
Registered IBM Confidential ─── adj. Designates information which is
a] technically [and totally] useless, but whose perceived value
increases with the level of management observing it; or b] is
useful, but which is now inaccessible because everyone is afraid to
have custody of the documents. See Candy─Striped.
Regression Bucket ─── n. Set of test cases to run against a product
during development to check that functions that used to work still
do, or to measure any change in performance.
Reinvent the Wheel ─── v. A derogatory phrase used to prevent someone
from writing a system correctly now that he has become familiar,
through experience, with what should have been done in the past.
Release ─── n. The software prepared for shipment to customers. All
the code that a development group has produced by some arbitrary
date, regardless of whether it works.
Release x ─── [Where x is some number larger than that of the current
release]. n. Never─never land. "Well that's a nice function, we'll
put it in Release 3". Cynically assumes no Release 3 is coming.
Remap ─── n. A machine whose logic design has been entirely or largely
taken from an earlier machine and re─implemented in a newer [usually
denser] technology. The 370/148 is a remap of the 370/145.
Rep ─── n. 1. Short for "Marketing Representative". The Rep is IBM's
prime contact with the customer. IBM holds him responsible for the
account, hence he has final say on everyone else's contact with the
customer. An IBMer in a laboratory, for example, would never call a
customer without the Rep's approval. Unlike an SE [system
engineer], he is paid on commission and is seldom very technical. 2.
Incurable [but rich] optimist.
Requirement ─── n. 1. A feature that must be included in a product or
else someone will non─concur. [See Non─concur, Feature.] 2. A
function or quality that must be included in a product or it will be
considered unsaleable to some portion of End Users.
Retread ─── n. Re─trainee. Not a nice term. Usually refers to a
planner who has become a programmer after 90 days of programming
school.
Retrofit ─── v. 1. To add a needed feature to a piece of software or
hardware rather later than it should have been added. Usually
results in inelegant architecture. 2. Merge. A standard procedure
in some divisions: laboratories A and B work along somewhat
independently for a time, then each "retrofits" their updates to the
other's work performed in the meantime. A sensitive political
situation arises when one group's updates must be "retrofitted"
because of changes made to lower─level updates by another group.
Road ─── n. Normally used in DPD to signify where the action takes
place. "... where the rubber meets the road".
RPQ ─── n. Request for Price Quotation [for an infrequently requested
feature, such as upper/lower case, or compatibility with earlier
products].
Salary Plan ─── n. Document explaining why Managers get paid more than
technical personnel.
Sammy Cobol ─── n. See Susie Cobol.
Sandbender ─── n. Person actually involved with silicon lithography and
the physical design of chips. Not to be confused with logic
designers, most of whom [it is said] would not recognise a
transistor if they stepped on it with bare feet.
Sandbox ─── adj. A location or department where the immediate goal is
not a product, or product support. The "Sandbox" Division is the
"Research Division". Always used in a derogatory sense. Also see
Adtech, Fun & Games, Trivial.
SCIDS ─── n. [skids] A 6─hour cocktail party, held every night of SHARE
and GUIDE meetings, during which customers [sometimes successfully]
ply IBMers with alcoholic beverages in plastic cups to try to find
out what's coming next. Officially stands for "Social Contact and
Informal Discussion Sessions." More familiarly known as the
"Society for Cultivation of Indiscretions via Drinking Sessions."
Scratch ─── v. Erase. "Please scratch the tape". Scratch is always a
deliberate action, rather than an accident. Also used as an adj.
"This is a Scratch Tape".
Service ─── v. 1. To handle an interrupt. Interrupt handlers seldom
appear in AI programs. 2. Fix bugs. See Critical service.
Seven Dwarfs ─── n. Originally the expression "IBM and the Seven
Dwarfs" described the entire computer industry. The Dwarfs were
Burroughs, Honeywell, NCR, Univac, RCA, General Electric, and the
new upstart, CDC. Since then RCA and GE have dropped out. Some
consider DEC to have become sufficiently respectable to constitute a
sixth, but no present─day seventh comes to mind. Dwarfs are at
least in principle exempt from the definitions of Minicomputer and
Vector Processor since they are deemed to produce 'ordinary'
computers like IBM.
Ship ─── v. used to signify movement of a product from a point A to a
point B even though the vehicle or mode of transport would
inevitably sink if placed on the surface of the ocean. It is
possible to ship items by road, rail, plane or even by electronic
networks. See FCS.
Showstopper ─── n. 1. Unfixed bug. Likely to cause a Crash. 2.
Unsurmountable problem that may kill a project.
Shriek ─── n. Exclamation point, popular among APL users. See also
Splat.
Slash ─── n. Virgule [a "/"]. Also Slashslash ─ the JCL identifier, as
in "Slashslash deedee splat" [// DD *].
Slip ─── n. An extension to a schedule deadline. A slip implies that
the developer intends to complete the project, but was too
aggressive in his schedule. As a rule of thumb, if a schedule slip
of one month is announced, the project is likely to be ready after
two extra months.
Slot ─── n. Position to be filled. "I have a slot for a Project
Programmer." See Headcount.
Softcopy ─── adj. Machine readable.
Softy ─── adj. Affectionate term used by engineers to describe a
software expert who knows very little about hardware. Software
experts seem to have no affectionate terms for engineers.
Solution ─── v. [Very popular at South Road Labs, Poughkeepsie.] Same
as "solve": "We must solution this problem". The form "solutioned"
is also used for "solved".
Speak Up! ─── n. A well─administered programme which allows employees
to make a genuinely anonymous complaint to any level of management
about any IBM─related subject. Replies to Speak Up!s range from
[occasional] positive acceptance of the complaint and a resultant
change to [usually] a patronising brush─off which may aggravate the
original feeling of dissatisfaction.
Spec─Writer ─── n. The person who writes the functional specifications
for a product. Since this is a boring unimaginative job, it is
often given to boring unimaginative people. Since this person
effectively has the final say in what goes into the spec., this
often leads to [you've guessed it] products.
Special assistant to ─── adj. Idle. A manager for whom no use can be
found any longer is made "Special Assistant to" some higher echelon.
His activities from then on are completely without consequence. See
also Staff.
Speculate ─── v. To tell secrets. "Q: Why does the IBMPC
Documentation refer to an assembler, when there is none announced?"
"A: I'm sorry, but I cannot speculate on that in public."
Spin system ─── n. The system that FE are prepared to fix bugs on.
[Pre─FCS systems are not spin systems.] The term probably refers to
the system that is actually spinning on the system disk drive. See
Floor System.
Splat ─── n. Asterisk, as in the JCL statement "// DD *" [pronounced
"slashslash deedee splat"].
Spool ─── v. To move data from one disk pack to another. Usage:
"Please spool that new file to me". See Punch, Net.
Spring Plan ─── n. A period of three months occurring every spring,
when most productive work stops. The plan, once adopted, is
ignored. See Fall Plan.
Stack ─── n. Alternative [incorrect] name for a Queue. Probably
originally from Cambridge [MA].
Staff ─── n. A person with no responsibility but an amount of power
correlated with his personal charisma. It is usually very hard to
determine how seriously one should deal with a staff person. A
staff person is usually supposed to be helping the workers
accomplish their jobs but more often is asking about something or
asking for something. He can usually be ignored completely.
However, occasionally someone with a great deal of charisma lands in
a staff job and carries great weight with higher management [usually
yours]. [This particular breed of "staff" is difficult to detect.]
Statement of Direction ─── n. -. IBM's commitment to a comprehensive
[e.g. text processing] strategy incorporating all current products.
2. A phrase used to cover up the absence of any strategy.
Strategic ─── adj. Used to designate a major IBM product, to which IBM
is prepared to commit significant resources. A project manager will
do ANYTHING to get his product classified "strategic".
Suggestions Programme ─── n. Lottery whereby an employee can [by
wasting IBM time filling in a form] get cash for ideas which someone
else will have to implement. Indeed, sometimes a whole Task Force
can be set up to consider the suggestion.
Surface ─── v. To bring to someones attention. "We should surface that
issue at the next staff meeting."
Susie Cobol ─── n. A programmer straight out of training school who
knows everything ─ except the benefits of commentary. Also
[fashionable among personkind these days to avoid accusations of
being sexist] Sammy Cobol.
'SYNTAX ERROR' ─── n. General message put out by compilers and
interpreters when a] the error was never expected to occur; or b]
when the programmer got tired of dreaming up new error messages for
trivial cases.
Talk to ─── v. 1. Discuss. "I will talk to that detail later".
Usually means that the speaker hopes his audience will drop the
subject. 2. The act of communicating with another [usually of
machines]. e.g: These machines talk to each other, but do they
understand? Is one talking French and the other listening in
German?
Tandem Memos ─── n. A phrase to worry middle management. Refers to the
widely distributed computer conference in which many technical
personnel expressed dissatisfaction with the tools available to
them, and also constructively criticised the way in which IBM does
business. If you have not seen the memos, try reading the November
1981 Datamation summary.
Task Force ─── n. 1. [Official Definition] High powered group of
experts appointed to solve some problem of pressing urgency. 2.
[Unofficial Definition [a]] A group of people with nothing better to
do, with plenty of time to generate arguments and [sometimes]
reports. 3. [Unofficial Definition [b]] A useful place for
management to hide people who have nothing better to do than natter
on about things. [Note: It is said that Task Forces have
occasionally produced [useful] results. There exists no evidence to
support this hypothesis.]
Technology ─── n. A particular flavour of silicon manufacturing
process. "We can't put the whole channel on one chip until we go to
the next technology."
Test ─── v. 1. In a bad development laboratory, the process of getting
a few bored people to try one or two of the things mentioned in the
product specification [i.e. to try the things the developers had
already considered]. 2. In a good development laboratory, the
process of allowing real users to use a product for a significant
amount of time before announcement. This may have occurred once.
Test Bucket ─── n. Set of test cases to run against a product during
development to check that it performs basic functions correctly.
Thesis ─── n. See Paren.
THINK ─── v. A well─established IBM acronym which is so
well─established that no one can remember what it originally meant.
Said to exemplify an ideal that IBM employees are prevented from
achieving.
Think small ─── Hardware/software test strategy. Technique is to
exercise the most primitive function to prove to yourself it works
before trying more complex [and presumably failing] function. When
people forget this basic strategy, they are gently reminded to
"think small".
Token ─── n. [in CMS] 8─character alphanumeric operand which just
happened to fit the size of one of the 370 basic atoms of storage
[the Doubleword].
Topside ─── n. The higher management echelons of a project or group.
"We'll go in Topside with that problem" means to attack a problem
from top management downwards.
Toy ─── 1. n. A computer program that can be understood. 2. n. A
project in which the coding is a significant part of the effort [in
a "real" project, coding is a negligible portion of the costs]. 3.
adj. Describes a tool which is great for teaching but lacks basic
facilities needed for doing real work.
Trailing Edge ─── adj. Slow to change. Used in marketing to denote an
account who are not interested in SNA, IMS, MVS etc. Usage: "XYZ
are a real trailing edge account". [Note that "account" describes
people in this usage.]
Translucent ─── n. 1. A change which is supposed to affect a user or
system very slightly. Used when a claim of Transparency would not
be believed. 2. A change which requires a huge effort to adapt to.
Transparent ─── n. A change which is not supposed to affect a user or
system. Used when talking to Change Control to clinch the argument.
"It's transparent!". Sadly, transparency seems a relative thing
[relatively rare] ─ after all, if truly transparent, why make the
change?
Tri─lead ─── n. A wire. Consists of a central conductor with a earth
[ground] wire each side. Effective as a signal carrier, but
contacts have been known to be less than ideal.
Trick ─── adj. Code that cannot be understood by a newly trained
programmer. The term is used during programming phase reviews:
"The use of the translate instruction to reverse the string is a
neat trick, but it can be made clearer and more understandable by
the use of a DO Loop".
Trickological ─── adj. Written more to glorify the tricks than to get
the function performed. A trickological program of the highest
order can be comprehended only by its author. It is especially easy
[indeed, almost trivial] to write one of these in APL.
Trivial ─── adj. 1. Possible. Used to convey the impression that the
speaker is an expert in a subject and that the method of solution
should be immediately obvious to everyone else in the room.
Normally used when no one in the room [including the speaker] can
think of a solution. 2. Easy. Used to imply that if the speaker had
the responsibility of carrying out the task, it would be done in a
matter of minutes. But, alas, it is someone else's job... Also 3.
Non─trivial anything the speaker does not really want to do.
"That's a non─trivial change".
Trouble Came Back ─── n. [TCB] Colloquialism used by maintenance people
to describe an intermittent or difficult─to─reproduce problem which
has failed to respond to neglect. See No Problem Found and Go Away.
True Blue ─── adj. An account that uses only IBM equipment.
User Friendly ─── adj. 1. Used to describe a program that was used by
more than one person before being distributed. 2. Also used to
describe hardware or software that is not easy to use, but needs to
be sold.
Vanilla ─── adj. Standard flavor, e.g. as shipped to Customers. e.g.
"You mean it is possible to run Vanilla CP?". See Chocolate. Often
used in a somewhat deprecating way.
User Friendly ─── adj. 1. Used to describe a program that was used by
more than one person before being distributed. 2. Also used to
describe hardware or software that is not easy to use, but needs to
be sold.
Vanilla ─── adj. Standard flavor, e.g. as shipped to Customers. e.g.
"You mean it is possible to run Vanilla CP?". See Chocolate. Often
used in a somewhat deprecating way.
Vector Processor ─── n. Any machine with a non─370 compatible
architecture that runs over 3 MIPS. There is an implicit slight
here that it is not a real "commercial" machine, since vector
processors typically are used for scientific applications.
Presumably, when a "vector processor" is given a commercial job
stream, it will not run any faster than the fastest 370. See
Mini─Computer.
Vehicle ─── n. Indirect means to achieve some result [usually in the
marketplace]. "We will focus on the F machines as the key vehicle
for the new user interface ..".
Vend Out ─── v. To contract out some item to an outside vendor. A
favourite way to avoid security restrictions ─ recently the contract
for making the foils for a presentation describing the IBM corporate
five─year plan was vended out...
Vendor ─── n. A company that either supplies something to IBM, or
supplies something to IBM customers. See OEM.
Vendor Technology ─── n. Semiconductor technology produced outside IBM.
The implication is that any variety of technology can be produced by
IBM, but "out there" they can only manage one type.
Verb ─── n. Any word [i.e. any noun may be misused as a verb]. "There
is no word in the English language that cannot be verbed".
Virgin ─── adj. Unmodified version of a program [e.g. as received from
PID]. It is interesting to note that the first modification to such
code is usually that which is most desired. See also Vanilla.
Virtual ─── adj. a term used to indicate that things are not what they
seem to be. Generally means that you can see it, but it is not
really there.
Visibility ─── n. A project that has "visibility" is much in the eye of
others. This makes it high [political] risk ─ the workers involved
may find themselves showered with awards, or may find themselves the
scapegoats for others. The latter is the more likely, of course.
Visionary ─── n. Someone who reads the outside literature.
Vital records ─── n. Records which are supposed to enable a project to
restart with minimal loss in the event of disaster. Usually three
to six months out of date, and often suffering from inconsistency,
it is just as well that they have never really been needed.
Walk in the Woods ─── n. Put on the shelf, as in "the product was a
disaster, so they sent him for a walk in the woods". See Penalty
Box.
Wall follower ─── adj. Simpleton. An early robot building contest
which involved running a maze was won by a mechanism which only
sensed and followed the right─hand wall. Robots which tried to
learn as they traversed the maze did not do as well.
Wansdyke ─── n. Mysterious caverns in England, "somewhere" near the
ancient Saxon earthwork known as Wansdyke, where vital records are
stored. UK equivalent of Iron Mountain.
Warm Fuzzies ─── n. The kind of feeling it is alleged that you get when
you think you are proceeding in the right direction, or when you are
being treated well by your manager. This state of mind is usually
of short duration, and is succeeded by "Cold pricklies". See Cold
Pricklies.
Water ─── n. Orders for equipment which the customer does not intend to
accept. "The first─day orders set a new record, but they must be at
least a third water". Major causes include: place─holding orders
while the customer tries to figure out what has been announced;
dropout due to multi─year delivery schedules; and Christmas presents
to deserving salesmen.
Watson Freeway ─── n. The sections of Interstates 684 and 287 which
connect Corporate HQ [Armonk] with DPD HQ [1133, see below] via
Harrison.
WIBNI ─── [wib─knee] n. Acronym for "Wouldn't It Be Nice If", usually
used to describe useful but difficult to implement additions to
software systems. "I have a WIBNI for the zorch function."
Wild Duck ─── n. Creative technical person who does unconventional
things, or at least does things in an unconventional way. Implies
respect, and a feeling that many of his ideas turn out to be
valuable. Usually applied only to males. It is said that IBM does
not mind having a few wild ducks around ─ so long as they fly in
formation.
Yellow brick road ─── n. Route 9, Poughkeepsie. The road on which you
travel to see the Wizard of OZ. See OS.
Yellow Wire ─── 1. n. Hardware fix [the reliability of a product is
inversely proportional to the number of yellow wires]. 2. v. To
wire─wrap.
Zap ─── v. To alter the machine code of a program by storing directly
into main storage, or by running a program known as SuperZap to have
a similar effect on the disk resident copy of a program. This
practice started in the days when a proper change to program source
followed by reassembly was task measured in hours. Now a term for
shoddy, incomplete work which is likely to cause trouble in future
because the running version of a program no longer agrees with its
source ─ a situation which guarantees problems. "We'll just zap it
for now and hope tomorrow never comes". Nowadays Zapping is a dying
art, and can itself take hours.
1133 ─── n. 1. The multiplexor enclosure for the 1130 Mini─Computer. 2.
DPD Headquarters, Westchester Avenue, White Plains, NY.
80─column mind ─── n. Always derogatory. Usually applied to people
who, conceptually at least, would prefer to be able to lay their
hands directly on their data, and to whom the transition from cards
to tape was a traumatic experience. Nobody has dared tell them
about disks yet.
& ─── [ampersand]. Character used in many IBM macro and command
languages in order to make them hard to read and to type. Helps add
to the mystique surrounding programmers that use such languages.
See Command Language.