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   ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
   │ ┌──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐ │
   │ │                                                          │ │
   │ │       IBM Jargon and General Computing Dictionary.       │ │
   │ │             Fourth Edition ─ December 1981.              │ │
   │ │                                                          │ │
   │ └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘ │
   └──────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

The 297 items in this dictionary have been selected from the enormous
   vocabulary of computer─related terms used in IBM.  Those chosen are
   those which are believed to be used in a way unique to IBM, or which
   originated in IBM.  Acronyms are generally not included unless they
   are used as a word in their own right [e.g.  "APAR"].  [Compiled by
   Mike Cowlishaw [IBM UK Laboratories Ltd., Hursley] with grateful
   acknowledgement to numerous contributors and Bass.  Corrections and
   additions are most welcome.]


ABEND ─── [ab─end] 1. n. Undesirable termination of a program [or
   system].  From 'ABnormal ENDing'.  Invariably due to human error
   that the system was unable to overcome or ignore.  Typically results
   in catch─all error messages [e.g:  "syntax error"] that rarely help
   determine the cause. 2. v. To end abnormally.  See also Crash.

Account Situation ─── n. Circumstances at a customer installation which
   could lead to IBM losing revenue, usually accompanied by accusations
   that IBM is not delivering adequate service.  A "red alert" status
   for a branch office.

Action Plan ─── n. Project management is never satisfied by just a
   plan.  The only acceptable plans are Action Plans.

Adder ─── n. An increment.  "These costs won't look so attractive with
   the burden and inflation adders."  Nominated for most obnoxious
   neologism of 1980.

Address ─── v. Talk about.  Used when a speaker cannot answer a
   question. e.g:  "I shall address that subject another time".  [This
   implies that, of course, the speaker has considered the subject in
   great depth, but sadly has not enough time now to give it the
   treatment it deserves...].  See Offline.

Adjective ─── v. To use a word as an adjective modifying some other
   word which in fact modifies the adjectived word.  This avoids the
   normal use of prepositions and dependent clauses, as in "user
   effects" [instead of "effects on users" or "effects caused by
   users"].  Another example is "That is a documentation hit" [rather
   than "That is a hit on the documentation"].  See Verb.

Adtech ─── n. Time put aside for a risk project [Advanced Technology].
   May mean:  a] Play time [when someone else is doing it]; b]
   Exciting, innovative system design with NO product deadlines [when
   speaker is doing it].

Aggressive ─── adj.  Optimistic.  "We are moving into the new
   technology on a very aggressive schedule."

Announce ─── n. The time at which a new product is described to
   customers.  Before this time a product is known by a code─name, and
   specifications are strictly confidential.  At Announce time, the
   product is assigned a number instead of a name, with the result that
   not even the developers know what it is anymore...

APAR ─── [ay─parr] 1. n. 'Authorized Program Analysis Report'.  This is
   an official report of an error to IBM.  The acronym is used so often
   that most people don't know what it means. 2. v. To make such a
   report. 3. n. A golf term [like ABIRDIE, ABOGIE].

APL Bigot ─── n. APL ['A Programming Language'] is a popular,
   mathematically oriented, unreadable, interactive language.  Usage:
   1:  "An APL bigot does not know there are any other programming
   languages". 2:  "She's an APL bigot ─ cannot speak English".  See
   Bigot.

Architect ─── v. To decide how something should work.  Usage:  "We will
   have that architected by year end".

Architectural Awareness ─── n. Site Facilities' version of Feature.  A
   popular variety is a column placed directly in front of a door,
   claimed to be deliberate.  [Warning:  At the Glendale Lab.,
   Endicott, you will be offered attractive bets that this has never
   happened.  DO NOT ACCEPT!]

Architecture ─── 1. n. The way something works.  Usage:  "They are
   developing a new disk architecture". 2. adj.  Documentation.
   Usually in the form "architecture group" that denotes a group of
   people who go around finding out how the most highly esteemed IBM
   products or planned products work and then document them.  These
   documents then become the IBM "standard architecture" or "strategic
   architecture" which the rest of the [IBM] world has to follow.

Award ─── n. In Research, a cash prize often given to signify the end
   of a project [whether successful or not].  Elsewhere, an arbitrary
   cash prize; often associated with [but not proportional to] merit.

Back─level ─── adj.  Not updated with the latest changes:  "Your system
   is back─level, so there is no way you can run this new
   super─program!"

Bells and Whistles ─── n. Frills added to a product, to make it more
   exciting without making it much better.

Big Blue ─── n. 1. IBM [when used by customers and competitors]. 2.
   Data Processing Division [when used by GBG or GBG/I].

Big OS ─── n. Pronounced "OZ".  Popular in the late 60's when "OS" was
   THE operating system, and it was said to do and know everything.

Bigot ─── adj.  Person with a passionate or religious fervour for a
   language or system e.g:  "APL Bigot", "REX bigot", "CMS Bigot".
   Implies an unwillingness to learn/use any alternative, except when
   the term is used used by one bigot to another [of the same type], in
   which case the implication is almost affectionate.

Blow away ─── v. Destroy.  "The editor crashed and blew away all my
   files".

Bomb ─── v. Synonym for Crash [in USA only ─ to real English speakers
   the word has the opposite meaning when used as an adjective. e.g.
   "that sports car goes like a bomb"...]

Boondoggle ─── n. Conference with a large admixture of pleasure with
   business.

Bubblegum ─── n. The Boeblingen Lab.  Americans have three alternatives
   in trying to pronounce 'Boeblingen':  a] 'BO─BLINN─GEN' makes you
   sound as if you have never heard the word spoken and are clearly
   "out of it"; b] 'BER─BLING─EN' [the most popular variant] sounds
   like you KNOW what it sounds like but cannot pronounce it yourself
   [probably true]; c] the correct pronunciation leaves you open to
   accusations of intellectual snobbery by the first two groups.
   Calling it "Bubblegum" defuses the whole issue by making it a joke.

Bullet ─── n. One of a list of items to be emphasised, usually marked
   by a blob alongside it on a Foil.  "And the next bullet is the most
   important∙∙∙".

Business case ─── n. Economic [commercial] justification.  Asking for
   the business case is an effective wet blanket to throw on a hot
   project.

Candy─Striped ─── adj.  Registered IBM Confidential.  Refers to the Red
   and White diagonal markings on the covers of such documents.  Also
   used as a verb:  "Those figures have been Candy─Striped".

Cast in Concrete ─── adj.  Immutable.  Used when specifications are
   "frozen" and are therefore unchangeable.  This takes place a few
   days before the first prototype is available for general usability
   testing, so minimising the work of the development group.
   Effectively acts as a wet blanket should further urgently needed
   changes be proposed.

"Cave of the Winds" ─── n. DPD HQ.  The term refers to the famous cave
   of the same name.  The DPD HQ building was named for the cave
   because of all the hot air alleged to circulate spontaneously
   therein.

Caveat ─── n. A communication technique favoured in DPD that affords a
   presenter the opportunity to give an illusion of speaking frankly
   and candidly to an audience.  Done well, the caveat [warning] will
   relax the defenses of an otherwise critical audience, lulling it
   into accepting the token statement at face value.  "The customer
   must first effect an operational SNA environment.  This is not
   always an easy task, but has been done in one day at several
   accounts."

Central Electronics Complex ─── n. CPU.  [CEC sounds more impressive].

Change Control ─── n. One of the System Management disciplines, from
   which DP centre staff derive the warm feeling that they are in
   control of their computer installation.  Known sardonically by the
   users who must actually live with the insidious overheads generated
   by the various implementations of the discipline as "blame control".

Check ─── n. From "machine check".  "The CPU took three checks before
   lunch".  Also used for software [program checks].  See Hit.

Chocolate ─── adj.  Enhanced flavour, e.g. a modified version of a
   program.  Rare.  See Vanilla.

Clean up ─── v. Improve a sloppy program, system, or procedure.  "We
   have to clean up the SPIE exit".  A clean up should convert
   decadence to elegance.

CLIP ─── v. To change the pack label on a DASD volume.  The term CLIP
   stood for Change Label Information Program.  Usually IPL'd from
   cards, this program not only changed the serial number but also
   other items in the volume label area.  Of course, these other
   capabilities were never used so CLIPping became synonomous with
   changing VOLSER.

COBOL Programmer ─── n. This is a very negative term.  COBOL is not
   highly regarded in IBM; almost no one in IBM can program in it.
   Generally COBOL programmers are not regarded as programmers at all,
   if that is all they can code.

Cold Pricklies ─── n. A nagging suspicion that somewhere you have
   overlooked something critical, and will be punished for it.  See
   Warm Fuzzies.

Command Language ─── n. Set of magical incantations.  Can bring great
   blessings on the user; but like all good spells, misuse or use by
   the ignorant [See Naive User] can bring great woe.

Concern ─── n. Formal indication from one group to another that the
   first is [very] worried about some action by the other.  See Issue,
   Non─Concur.

Concur ─── v. To give an irrevocable [often written] agreement.
   "Product Assurance concur [that the product be shipped]"

Core ─── n. An archaic term used to refer to the ferrite cores used as
   the main storage medium for early computers.  It is now something of
   a fad to studiously avoid this term, and use the more meaningful and
   general term "storage" instead.

Core Dump ─── n. A briefing.  Usage:  "Give me a five─minute core dump
   on SNA before the staff meeting".  See Core, Dump.

Counter─strategic ─── adj. 1. Applied to suggestions that one would
   like to ignore.  "Not the basket in which IBM has placed its eggs".
   2. Something that causes embarrassment to those who are responsible
   for what is strategic.  See Strategic.

Crash ─── 1. v. To halt in an unrecoverable manner unexpectedly.
   Almost never preceded by a warning message except when crash is
   deliberate.  Usually indicates human error in hardware or software
   [or even firmware].  "The system has crashed AGAIN". 2. n. the event
   of crashing.  "That was a bad Crash".

Critical service ─── n. A hot bug fix.  See Service.

CRU ─── [crew] n. Customer Replaceable Unit.  Part of a device [such as
   a keyboard] that is considered to be replaceable by a customer or
   End User.  [Fix it yourself.] See FRU.

Customer ─── n. Any individual not currently working for IBM.

CYA ─── v. To protect your rear [typically by generating Documents of
   Understanding and obscure memos and the like which will prove, if
   necessary, that the author knew all along that the project was
   doomed to failure].  Variously estimated to consume between 71% and
   78% of all managerial resources at most development labs.

DEBE ─── 1. n. "Does Everything But Eat" ─ general 360/370 utility for
   moving data from device to device.  Originally a stand alone program
   [i.e. it did not require an operating system], named after its
   authors. 2. v. To try as a last resort.  "Nothing else works, let's
   DEBE it".

Deck ─── n. A file usually in Fixed─80 [card] format, as in "text
   deck".

Decommit ─── v. To slip your schedule for an indefinite period of time.
   A grave dishonour for project management.

Delta ─── n. List of changes [e.g. the differences between two
   programs].  "Make me a Delta on that proposal".

Demo ─── n. Demonstration.  Exhibition of non─functioning or unfinished
   hardware or software to senior management or VIP visitors.  Provides
   ideal conditions for disturbing unsuspected bugs.

Demonstration Application Program ─── n. Game.

Dialogue ─── 1. n. Pompous alternative to "conversation" or "chat". 2.
   v. Talk to, as in "Why don't you call Steve and dialogue with him
   about that project".

Disclaimer ─── n. A boiler plate blanket statement that disassociates
   and relieves a presenter of any responsibility from conclusions his
   audience may have reached as a result of his statements, regardless
   of whether the conclusions were intended or not.  Commonly used in
   IBM customer hardware or software proposals and performance
   presentations.

"Disneyland East" ─── n. DPD Headquarters [see 1133 below].  This term
   gained such widespread use that several years ago a middle manager
   somewhere actually sent out a memo forbidding its use.

Distributed Data Processing ─── n. 1. [Official IBM version] A
   methodology for selling small CPUs for use at remote sites. 2.
   [Unofficial version] A methodology for spreading competitor's minis
   and micros around remote sites, as there is no 4321.

Divisions ─── n. 1. Any territory outside New York State, or north of
   Interstate 84, or west of the Hudson River. 2. Derogatory term used
   in Research to describe the rest of IBM.  "That idea came from the
   Divisions".  See also NIH.

Document Administrator ─── n. Quote from GML manual:  "One who is
   responsible for defining markup conventions and procedures for an
   installation.  This involves defining the actual vocabulary of tags
   to be used and also the nature of the processing required for each".
   Need one say more?

Document of Understanding ─── n. A memo used to present one party's
   view of a contract in the best possible light.  Usually shows little
   or no understanding of the other party's problems.

Dog and Pony Show ─── n. A presentation designed to [over]impress.
   Implies a certain amount of cynicism and deception, and contempt for
   the audience.

Domestic ─── adj.  The U.S. parts of IBM.  Used by U.S.  IBMers to
   imply all that really matters in IBM.  Used by everyone else to
   describe an insular approach to a problem "He's Domestic ─ thinks
   everyone speaks American".

Dotted to ─── v. Describes a managerial relation that cannot be
   described as a tree.  Refers to the [dashed] lines shown on
   organisation charts.  Usually used for professionals [lawyers and
   accountants] whose managers do not understand what they do so they
   are "dotted to" someone in Armonk.

Doubleword ─── n. 8 bytes [an IBM S/370 Word is 4 bytes, or 32 bits].
   See also Halfword.

Down ─── n. Crashed.  The state of the system when you need one more
   listing and you are already late for your plane.

Down level ─── adj.  Applied to a person that is not up to date with
   some technical nuance.  [Derived from FE terminology applied to
   software.]

Dump ─── n. Collection of all available information about a problem,
   usually deposited on the slowest printing device available.  The
   "Garbage out" part of "Garbage In, Garbage Out".

DWIM Instruction ─── [like swim] n. "Do What I Mean" ─ a mythical
   instruction invoked by a frustrated programmer to give acceptable
   results when in fact he could not define what he meant [but would
   recognize it if he saw it].  Also invoked when the last instruction
   issued to the machine was disasterous:  "Do what I mean, not what I
   say, you dumb machine!"

Ease─of─use ─── n. 1. An ill─defined but positive quality only achieved
   by products of the speaker's company. 2. A quality claimed for all
   programming languages, to demonstrate superiority over machine
   languages or lower level languages.  OS JCL is a fine
   counter─example to this claim.

End User ─── n. A hypothetical non─IBM person, probably of IQ less than
   95, who is expected to represent the biggest group of users of IBM
   equipment in the future.  It is not known whether the low IQ is the
   cause, effect, or is unrelated to this change of usage.

Engineering Change ─── n. yet another attempt to get a machine to meet
   customer expectations.

Enhancement ─── n. fix for a problem that has been reported too often
   to be ignored.  See Feature.

Escalate ─── v. To take a matter to higher [managerial] authority.
   Very effective as a threat.

Europe ─── n. that part of the [IBM] world that consists of Israel,
   South Africa, and the European countries ─ excluding g the Eastern
   Bloc.

Exposure ─── n. 1. Some aspect of a project that looks as though it may
   become a problem.  "That's a big exposure". 2. Danger, risk.  A
   necessary synonym, since the words are not otherwise found in the
   IBM vocabulary.

Facility ─── n. Usually a program or software package whose function is
   [by definition of its authors] useful.  Facility is usually a
   misnomer, however, as the programs that are accredited this grand
   description are often exceedingly complicated and difficult to use.

Fall over ─── v. Synonymous with ABEND, Crash.  As in "One of the
   2305's fell over last night and took CP with it".

Fall Plan ─── n. A period of three months occurring every autumn
   [Fall], when most productive work stops for a general free─for─all
   about which projects are to be considered strategic.  The plan, once
   adopted, is ignored.  See Spring Plan.

Fat, Dumb and Happy ─── adj.  Typically used of a project's management
   who think their project is competitive when it is not.

FCS ─── n. First Customer Ship.  The time at which products are first
   delivered to customers, usually cause for celebration.  ["Pub
   Time".] Also is the time at which FE starts fixing the bugs that
   were discovered too late in the development cycle to be corrected.
   [See also Announce.]

Feature ─── n. 1. Bug for which no fix is going to be made available.
   2. A correction to a publication.  See Enhancement.

Field ─── n. The IBM marketplace ─ where the profits come from.

Fix ─── n. A correction for a software problem.  "You need the
   following three fixes to correct the file system bug".  Software
   equivalent of Engineering Change.

Flipchart ─── n. Large piece of paper used for drawing charts as a
   presentation aid.  Often faintly marked with 2.54mm squares to help
   the presenter keep straight.  Favoured at Corporate HQ, but
   superseded elsewhere by Foils.

Floor System ─── adj.  The operating system used by the majority of
   people on a machine [as opposed to a test or private system].  See
   Spin System.

Foil ─── n. Viewgraph, transparency, viewfoil.  Only 'Foil' is used in
   IBM.  It is the most popular of the three presentation media ─
   slides, foils, and flipcharts ─ except at Corporate HQ, where
   flipcharts are required.

Follow─on ─── n. A new release of a product, sufficiently different to
   merit a new product number but including all the bugs and problems
   of the previous product architecture.

Forecast ─── n. A prophecy of the number of sales of a product as a
   function of price at which it will be offered, typically made by
   people who have never used or sold such products and based upon wild
   guesses by some people who have.  The forecast has no relationship
   to either the quality of the product or the value as it might be
   perceived by the potential customer, since no one is allowed to
   discuss the product with the customer at this stage.  Thus a
   forecast is either strikingly inaccurate for a low price and large
   number of sales, or a painfully self─fullfilling prophecy if it is
   high priced and low volume.

Fort Apache ─── n. East Fishkill.  The term derives from the shape of
   the building, whose second story overhangs the first.

Frank ─── n. The chairman of the board, Frank Cary.  "If you don't like
   it, go talk to Frank".

Freezer ─── n. Place where Task Force results are stored [e.g. a filing
   cabinet to which no one has the key].  See Task Force.

Frozen ─── adj. a term which when applied to an IBM project means that
   some higher level of management has cooled sufficently to enable
   them to successfully quench any red─hot or innovative idea which
   might be relevant to the project.  See Cast─in─Concrete.

FRU ─── [frew] n. Field Replaceable Unit.  Part of a device [such as a
   logic card] that is considered to require an IBM Field Engineer [FE]
   to replace.  [The factory doesn't want to hear about your problems.
   They have enough of their own.  Call the FE.] See CRU.

FS ─── n. A synonym for dreams that didn't come true.  "That project
   will be another FS".

Full court press ─── n. Instruction to an entire marketing team to
   press an account at all levels possible [from the basketball term].

Fun & Games ─── n. Anything that does not directly result in short term
   revenue to the corporation.

Functionally Stabilized ─── adj.  Dead.  A product that will receive no
   further enhancements.

Funny Money ─── adj.  Budget dollars.  Have a hypothetical, play─money
   value ─ felt especially by those employees to whom the dollar is not
   the native unit of currency.

Get in bed ─── v. Work closely with.  Usage:  "You will just have to
   get in bed with those people in Raleigh".

Glass ─── n. Silicon Chips.  Usage:  "We can't get the upleveled
   hardware until the new glass gets through Fishkill".  See Iron.

Glass Teletype ─── n. Before the 3101 was announced:  any non─IBM
   "dumb" CRT.  After the 3101 was announced:  the 3101.

Go Away ─── v. To vanish inexplicably.  Normally used in a kind of
   prayer or litany:  "with a bit of luck, that problem will go away
   when we install Release XXX.."..

Go Faster Stripes ─── n. Frills added to a hardware product, to make it
   appear to run better.  IBM hardware does not need these, of course.
   See Bells and Whistles.

Go to the Mat ─── v. fight it out by going to higher authority [from
   the wrestling term].  See Escalate.

Green Card ─── n. Quick reference summary information printed on a
   large folded sheet of heavy paper, usually yellow or white.  Refers
   to the original [green] S/360 reference card which is an outstanding
   example of the genre.

Guru ─── n. A professional expert.  Overtly a term of respect, but can
   convey an undertone of contempt for one who would invest large
   amounts of time in a subject which the speaker does not consider
   sufficiently important to become expert in himself.

Halfword ─── n. 2 bytes [an IBM S/370 Word is 4 bytes, or 32 bits].
   Especially confusing term when used to describe a 16─bit data item
   on a 16─bit machine whose "word─length" is 16 bits.  See also
   Doubleword.

"Hall of Winds" ─── n. See "Cave of the Winds".

Hands On ─── n. 1. Time spent in exploration of a new piece of
   equipment.  "After the class we will go down to the DP Center for
   some hands on." 2. Access to equipment.  "I have the programs
   written, but I can't get any hands on until Thursday."

Hardwire ─── v. When used with software, it means coding as a constant
   a parameter you would normally like to be changeable.  "The Userid
   of the receiving machine is hardwired as DATASTAG".  "The spool
   space constant is hardwired at 53%".

Head Crash ─── n. The event in which a read/write head forgets how to
   fly over the surface of a disk, and gouges up priceless data.

Headcount ─── n. The number of personnel currently allocated to a
   manager or project.  Headcount is the major measure of the size of a
   person's empire or the importance of a project, and is therefore
   increased whenever possible.  Unfortunately most managers still
   believe that nine women can produce a baby in one month.

Hit ─── n. Error.  May be hardware or software.  "My system took 3 hits
   before it crashed".  See Check.

Hook ─── n. A piece of hardware or software which is added to a product
   to allow future extensions or additions, but which is not necessary
   for the basic function.

Hot Button ─── n. Topic currently of great interest to someone who
   matters [i.e., some big shot].  Implies impermanence, and some
   contempt.  The hot button of today is likely to be of only passing
   interest tomorrow.  Current examples:  "Usability", "Quality".

How Hard Would It Be ─── n. Plaintive litany used when venturing
   suggestions for changes.  Immediately precedes some preposterously
   difficult proposal which to the requestor seems simple.  From
   experienced users, a wry acknowledgement that the proposition may
   well be costly, but is nevertheless desirable.  "How Hard Would It
   Be ... to remove the length restriction on Userids?"  See also
   WIBNE.

I didn't change Anything ─── n. "Something has changed but I have no
   idea what".  Plaintive cry preceding feelings of the Cold Pricklies.

I/S ─── n. Information Systems.  The function that manages the computer
   installations at some IBM sites.  Optimists thought it stood for
   "Information Services" until they became users.

IBM ─── n. 1. Acronym for the name of a certain large Corporation. 2. A
   hypothetical 370 instruction, existence strongly suspected but not
   yet proven:  "Insert Bug under Mask". 3. Itty─Bitty Machines. 4.
   Immense Blue Mountain/Monolith. 5. "I've Been Moved", alluding to
   the favourite game of departmental and divisional reorganisations.
   6. "It's Better Manually" 7. Hudson River Valley Works [much of that
   valley, in New York State, is owned by IBM].

IBM Confidential ─── adj. 1. Proprietary information relating to
   personnel or technical matters. 2. Information that is embarrassing
   to IBM.

IBM Internal Use Only ─── adj.  Information that is confidential but
   which the classifier does not wish to keep locked away.

Ibmox ─── [ib─em─ox] v. To copy xerographically.  "I Xeroxed a copy....
   sorry, I Ibmoxed a copy of that report on your desk."

In a ditch ─── adj.  Non─functional.  As in "That program is on its
   back in a ditch".  See Down, Crashed.

In─plan ─── adj.  What marketing wants [see Out─plan].

Incredible ─── adj.  A famous memo issued by FE management suggested
   the word "Incredible" as a possible alternative to the term
   "Bullshit", which apparently was being overused in meetings.
   Thereafter, the exclamation "Incredible!" could be heard ringing
   through the halls, accompanied by laughter from those understanding
   the translation, and expressions of bewilderment from the others.

Innovate ─── v. Change for the sake of change, preferably making
   previous programs or systems malfunction.

Interactive ─── adj.  Modern.  Usually associated with typing at CRT
   display terminals.  Supposed to carry the connotation of fast,
   pleasant, and making full use of "modern" techniques and technology.
   Usage:  "Of course, we will follow up with an interactive version".

Interface ─── v. 1. [Of humans] talk.  "I'm going to interface to Joe
   Bleh, the new DP Manager". 2. [Of machines] connect.  "I'm going to
   interface the black box to the [big] blue box".

IPL ─── v. Initial Program Load.  Restart after operating system has
   crashed.  Used to indicate starting anything from scratch:  e.g.
   "She IPL's on coffee each morning".  Also IML [Initial Microcode
   Load], or IMPL [Initial Micro Program Load].

Iron ─── n. Computing machinery.  Prevalent among hardware people to
   describe "boxes" [blue or otherwise].

Iron Mountain ─── n. Permanent document storage.  "We'll send these
   files to Iron Mountain".  Originally, a vendor specializing in
   securing backup documentation from nuclear attack; now any archival
   storage.  Not a good place to put data you ever want to use again.
   See Wansdyke.

Ironmonger ─── n. Derogatory term used by some "pure" software people
   to designate hardware people.  Generally indicates that the speaker
   is ignorant about hardware matters.

Issue ─── n. Formal indication from one group to another that the first
   is dissatisfied with some action by the other, and is prepared to
   take the matter to the next level of management to resolve the
   problem.  See Concern, Non─Concur.

JCL ─── n. Job Control language.  This was one of IBM's first attempts
   to make computing easy ─ JCL has only 5 command verbs.
   Unfortunately, one of these verbs has grown to have over 192
   different modifiers.  See Command Language.

Joint Study ─── n. A way to get a customer to invest resources into IBM
   development, and so commit him to buying the IBM product when it
   becomes available.

ney ─── adj.  Important.  Derived from the old term "key part" in
   theatre, it is used when the speaker cannot explain why it is
   important.  "It is absolutely Key to choose this strategy".

Kipper ─── adj.  Used to describe the speed of 370's and Mini─Computers
   that do not manage to achieve a million instructions per second.  A
   "KIP" is a thousand [kilo─] instructions per second [see note under
   MIPS], hence a "300 Kipper" is a machine that runs at 0.3 MIPS.

KIPS ─── n. Thousands of instructions per second.  Derivative of MIPS.
   See Kipper.

KISS principle ─── n. "Keep It Simple, Stupid".  Usually quoted when
   developing a product in restricted time, e.g. due to marketing
   pressures.  Not usually adhered to by IBM software development
   teams.

Leading Edge ─── adj.  Used to describe technology that is five years
   out of date and is therefore mature enough to be used in a product.

Level One ─── n. Level One is the lowest level of customer support.  If
   a customer really has a problem, he has to somehow get the Level One
   person to refer the problem to a real Guru, the Level Two support.
   If IBM also considers the problem significant, the customer may then
   be "Level Two'd".

Level set ─── v. To get everyone to the same level of knowledge to be
   used as a base for further progress. i.e. short pitch to define
   terms, etc.  "Before you start, let's level set everyone".

Line Item ─── n. Major part of a new release of a [usually software]
   product.  One of the highlights.

Listing ─── n. 1. Hardcopy print─out, usually of a program or
   algorithm. 2. The assembly─ or machine─ language part of such a
   print─out.

Lunatic Fringe ─── n. Used in Marketing to denote customers who will
   always take Release 1 of any new IBM product.

Macro ─── n. A macro is usually a kind of in─line subroutine.  In IBM
   it is still fashionable to write macros in outlandish and preferably
   unreadable languages, usually abounding with characters that are
   awkward to type on standard keyboards.  This makes it appear very
   skillful to write Macros, when in fact the main attributes required
   are those of Good Humour and Patience.  See &.

Microcode ─── n. Any software the customer cannot get his hands on.

Migration ─── n. The term used to specify how a customer is to change
   to a new hardware or software package, replacing currently installed
   packages which are probably viewed as being completely satisfactory.
   'Incentives', such as, "If you do not migrate we will not support
   anything else", are usually applied to 'prod' to customer into
   making the change.

Mini─Computer ─── n. Any machine with a non─370─compatible architecture
   that runs under 3 MIPS.  Also Mini.  See Vector processor.

MIPS ─── n. 1. Millions of Instructions Per Second [although often
   used, the term "1 MIP" is incorrect "One Million Instructions
   Per..". what? year?] 2. Misleading Indication of Processor Speed.

Mixed Case ─── adj.  Describes commentary, system messages, etc. that
   are easy to read and understand.  Usage:  rare.

Modulate ─── v. Change.  "Let's modulate our approach to this problem".

Module ─── n. General purpose noun, can mean almost anything.  Some
   current favourites:  a section of code; a package of circuitry
   containing 1 or more chips; a unit of instruction; or a temporary
   building.

Motherhood ─── n. Used to describe a common attitude of software
   development groups toward their underlings [i.e. the users of their
   software].  It is attributable to the fact that designers often
   believe their creations to be the 'final solution', to which no
   possible improvement could be conceived.  "Why don't they distribute
   source code?"  ...  "Motherhood, pure motherhood".

MSG ─── v. [message] To communicate via a computer─transmitted message,
   rather than by telephone.  Usage:  "MSG me when you are ready to go
   to lunch".

MVS ─── n. Man Versus System.

Naive User ─── n. 1. Someone new to the computer game, viewed with a
   mixture of sympathy and pity. 2. [when applied to someone not─so─new
   to the game] A person who cannot chew gum and walk in a straight
   line at the same time.

Need to know ─── n. Phrase wielded when someone wishes to avoid passing
   on a piece of information, usually because the information would be
   embarrassing.  "Do you have a need to know?"

Net ─── v. To send by computer network [as opposed to tape or mail].
   "I'll net you the files tomorrow".

NIH ─── adj.  "Not Invented Here" or "Not In─House".  Possibly more
   common inside IBM than outside, though of course IBM's house is
   larger than most.

No Problem Found ─── n. Colloquialism used by Software/Hardware
   maintenance people to indicate that they were unable to reproduce
   the users' problem.  A gentle way of asking for more information.
   Also No Trouble Found.

NO─OP ─── 1. n. No─operation.  An instruction to do nothing [used to
   fill up space or time during execution of a program]. 2. n. Implies
   ineffectiveness.  Usage:  "He's the biggest no─op I have ever seen".
   3. v. To make ineffective:  "I'll no─op it".

Non─Concur ─── v. The ultimate threat.  Makes any project management
   quake ─ grown men have been known to cry when threatened with this.
   Formal indication from one group to another that the first is
   convinced that the second is about to cause a major disaster, and
   that therefore the first group is prepared to escalate the matter as
   high as necessary to resolve the problem.  See Concern, Issue.

Non─strategic ─── adj.  Embarrassingly superior to what is strategic.
   It is permissible to to attribute defects to a non─strategic project
   even when nothing is known about it.  In GBG it is automatically
   non─strategic to have a Big Blue solution to Office Systems needs.
   See Strategic, Big Blue.

NUCON ─── adj.  Originally a CMS term for the NUcleus CONstant area.
   Static area in 370 page zero.  Now used as a term for a programmer
   who will not write reentrant code:  "He has NUCON mentality".

OEM ─── n. From "Original Equipment Manufacturer".  Inside IBM it means
   "Other Equipment Manufacturer".  See Vendor.

Offering ─── n. A product release:  "the next offering will have that
   feature".

Offline ─── n. Means "later, in private" e.g:  "let's take that
   offline".  Used by speakers when a question has been asked and a]
   the speaker does not know the answer; or b] he has a detailed answer
   which is probably not of interest to most of the audience; or c] the
   speaker does know the answer, and it is of interest, but he does not
   want to state it publicly.

Open Kimono ─── v. 1. Reveal everything to someone.  Once you have gone
   open kimono, you have nothing more to hide.  [This is the more
   common meaning.] 2. To give someone a tantalising glimpse of a
   project [i.e., enough to get him interested but not enough to give
   any secrets away].  [This is an interesting example of the same
   jargon having two rather different meanings.  This can cause amusing
   misunderstandings at times.]

OS ─── n. Any of the operating systems MVS, SVS, MFT, MVT, or VS1.
   These operating systems all grow from "OS/360", the first widespread
   360 Operating System.  See Big OZ.  The term OS excludes such
   operating systems as CP/67, VM/370, TSS, ACP.

Out─plan ─── adj.  What development wants [see In─plan].

Outside Awareness ─── n. Window.  Some IBM offices and [especially]
   laboratories are totally lacking in windows, but at last someone has
   noticed that people work better with a view.  So new offices are
   specified to have Outside Awareness.

Paper Chase ─── n. [also Paper Game] An officially sanctioned version
   of the infamous chain letter.  E.g. person A sends a letter to
   person B, copying persons C and D. Persons B, C as well as D may
   reply, copying each other and incidentally persons E, F, G, H and I.
   Person A, in self─defence, responds to all, this time via a
   distribution list including persons B through I and anyone else he
   can think of who might be remotely interested.  The next step is
   usually a meeting, to which the persons on the distribution list
   each invite one or more members of their respective departments.
   The process usually runs down when the list of players gets large
   enough that the secretary attempting to book the meetings which
   follow cannot find a time─slot acceptable to all.

Paren ─── n. 1. Short for parenthesis.  Many people have forgotten that
   parenthesis is the real word.  CMS users seldom bother to balance
   them.  Many user─written CMS programs flag the presence of a closing
   right parenthesis as an error. 2. The character "(", used in
   conversation to pair with "Thesis", e.g. the string "A(B)" might be
   described as "A Paren B Thesis".  Especially favoured by LISP
   programmers, burdened by many such.

Penalty Box ─── n. When an executive is transferred from a position of
   power to one of less power, he is said to be "going to the penalty
   box".  This usually occurs as a result of being visibly associated
   with a failed project [see FS].  Favoured penalty boxes are Research
   [see Sandbox], Group Staff, or Branch Manager of a remote or
   moribund location.  Another technique is to keep the offender at the
   same location, but put him in charge of a meaningless project [e.g.
   "Productivity" or "Standards"].  Variation:  "He got five years for
   fighting."  See Walk in the Woods.

Perfect Programmer Syndrome ─── n. "Since my program is right, there is
   no need to test it".  Or:  "Yes, I can see there may be a problem
   here, but I'll never type SHUTDOWN on the RSCS console when there is
   a CP read up".

Personal Computer ─── n. 1. Before 14 August, 1981:  A computer
   intended to be used by one person, who is local to it and does not
   time─share it.  A catch─all for home computers, hobby computers,
   professional workstations, and probably a few Cray─1's. 2. After 14
   August, 1981:  The IBM 5150.  It is too early to evaluate the
   effects of this latest wordnapping.

Phase 0 ─── adj.  From "Phase 1 review" which is the first official
   review of a project.  A "Phase 0 review" is a preliminary review,
   often conducted as a trial run for the real Phase 1. Hence, "do a
   Phase 0 estimate" means "do a preliminary estimate".

PID ─── [pidd] adj.  The version of a program as shipped to customers.
   From Program Information Department.  "Unfortunately, we have to run
   the PID version".  See Vanilla.

Pitch ─── n. Presentation.  "Are you going to the XYZ pitch in the
   auditorium?"

Plan of Record ─── n. Plan.  A "Plan of Record" has by implication
   extra solidity ─ though in fact it is the least reliable plan of
   all, since product plans always change.  It sounds better in
   memoranda, to some ears.  See Action Plan.

Play ─── v. To spend one's own time on a project. e.g.  "I'm staying
   this evening to play with the new XYZ program".  It seems that most
   really usable software derives from such play.

Play Pen ─── n. Room where programmers work.

Point ─── n. A measurement of the IBM list price of a product,
   equivalent to a dollar monthly rental.

Pokieland ─── n. The Poughkeepsie area.  The term is mainly used by
   people outside Pokieland.

POP ─── n. Principles of Operation [for the S/360 and later the S/370].
   Probably one of the best DP documents ever written.  The source of
   the Ultimate Truth for DPD.

Power Eraser Dispenser ─── n. The ultimate unnecessary feature.  See
   Bells and Whistles.

Pre─announce ─── v. To discuss in public hardware or software which has
   not been announced.

Product Tester ─── n. Those who have been to the mountain; keepers of
   the word; interpreters of the Specifications.  Used interchangeably
   with sophist.  Research has shown that most were given chemistry
   sets or electronic kits at an impressionable age by well meaning but
   misguided parents.

Prototype ─── 1. n. The first implementation of some idea in the form
   originally envisioned for it by the original innovator.  Generally
   unrelated in form, function, and cost to the final production
   version. 2. v. a] To implement a working system fast, i.e. by
   "unconventional" methods. b] To implement a 'model' system that has
   to be replaced by a "proper" system later ─ in case anyone realises
   how simple computer programming is.

PSE ─── n. Preliminary Sales Estimate.  Qualified guess [i.e. a random
   number] at how many units of a product will be sold.  Nobody except
   a forecaster can explain why this is different from a forecast.  See
   Forecast.

PTF ─── n. "A Program Temporary Fix".  This is an official IBM
   temporary fix.  The acronym is used so often that most people don't
   know what it means.  PTF's are permanent fixes in some systems.

PTM ─── n. "Program Trouble Memorandum".  The same as an APAR, but
   generated internally, before a program is shipped.

Pulse ─── n. A temporary change in the level of a logic signal of at
   least 50ns duration.  [Pulses narrower than this cannot exist, as
   they cannot be detected by the standard issue FE logic probe.
   Naturally this makes it difficult to design modern high performance
   equipment.]

Punch ─── v. To transmit data electronically from one disk pack to
   another.  Often these disk packs can be around the world from one
   another but just as often can be the exact same one.  A VM/370 term.
   Usage:  "Punch me that jargon file".

Qualified ─── adj.  Vendor part that has been tested six ways from
   Sunday and approved for use in IBM products.  Generally a well known
   product whose identity is subsequently disguised behind a twelve
   digit IBM part number.  Since the original part number is no longer
   available, the only specifications available are those produced by
   Fishkill testing lab which tend to give no hint of what the part
   really is.

Quality ─── n. A popular hot button characterised by the slogan:  "Do
   it right, first time".  A laudable aim, pounced on with glee by
   product managers who claim that they do their design right, first
   time, and that therefore testing with real users is obviously a
   waste of time.

Reach─around ─── n. Communication which does not just go up the
   management chain or down it, but rather goes up the chain and then
   returns to the original level as a response.  Usage:  very rare.

Read ─── v. To move data from one disk pack on your system to another.
   A VM/370 term.  Usually the source disk is owned by the spooling
   system and the destination disk is dedicated to a user.  Usage:
   "Please read that new file onto your disk".

Reader ─── n. 1. A temporary place on a disk pack to place data until a
   user decides exactly what he wants to do with it. 2. Also used as a
   place on a disk pack where one user puts data so that another user
   has a good chance of finding it.

Recursive ─── adj.  An object that refers to itself.  See Recursive.

Reference ─── n. A document which contains a minimum of information and
   is quite useless to a new user.  As in:  "This document is not a
   tutorial, it is a Reference".

Registered IBM Confidential ─── adj.  Designates information which is
   a] technically [and totally] useless, but whose perceived value
   increases with the level of management observing it; or b] is
   useful, but which is now inaccessible because everyone is afraid to
   have custody of the documents.  See Candy─Striped.

Regression Bucket ─── n. Set of test cases to run against a product
   during development to check that functions that used to work still
   do, or to measure any change in performance.

Reinvent the Wheel ─── v. A derogatory phrase used to prevent someone
   from writing a system correctly now that he has become familiar,
   through experience, with what should have been done in the past.

Release ─── n. The software prepared for shipment to customers.  All
   the code that a development group has produced by some arbitrary
   date, regardless of whether it works.

Release x ─── [Where x is some number larger than that of the current
   release]. n. Never─never land.  "Well that's a nice function, we'll
   put it in Release 3".  Cynically assumes no Release 3 is coming.

Remap ─── n. A machine whose logic design has been entirely or largely
   taken from an earlier machine and re─implemented in a newer [usually
   denser] technology.  The 370/148 is a remap of the 370/145.

Rep ─── n. 1. Short for "Marketing Representative".  The Rep is IBM's
   prime contact with the customer.  IBM holds him responsible for the
   account, hence he has final say on everyone else's contact with the
   customer.  An IBMer in a laboratory, for example, would never call a
   customer without the Rep's approval.  Unlike an SE [system
   engineer], he is paid on commission and is seldom very technical. 2.
   Incurable [but rich] optimist.

Requirement ─── n. 1. A feature that must be included in a product or
   else someone will non─concur.  [See Non─concur, Feature.] 2. A
   function or quality that must be included in a product or it will be
   considered unsaleable to some portion of End Users.

Retread ─── n. Re─trainee.  Not a nice term.  Usually refers to a
   planner who has become a programmer after 90 days of programming
   school.

Retrofit ─── v. 1. To add a needed feature to a piece of software or
   hardware rather later than it should have been added.  Usually
   results in inelegant architecture. 2. Merge.  A standard procedure
   in some divisions:  laboratories A and B work along somewhat
   independently for a time, then each "retrofits" their updates to the
   other's work performed in the meantime.  A sensitive political
   situation arises when one group's updates must be "retrofitted"
   because of changes made to lower─level updates by another group.

Road ─── n. Normally used in DPD to signify where the action takes
   place.  "... where the rubber meets the road".

RPQ ─── n. Request for Price Quotation [for an infrequently requested
   feature, such as upper/lower case, or compatibility with earlier
   products].

Salary Plan ─── n. Document explaining why Managers get paid more than
   technical personnel.

Sammy Cobol ─── n. See Susie Cobol.

Sandbender ─── n. Person actually involved with silicon lithography and
   the physical design of chips.  Not to be confused with logic
   designers, most of whom [it is said] would not recognise a
   transistor if they stepped on it with bare feet.

Sandbox ─── adj.  A location or department where the immediate goal is
   not a product, or product support.  The "Sandbox" Division is the
   "Research Division".  Always used in a derogatory sense.  Also see
   Adtech, Fun & Games, Trivial.

SCIDS ─── n. [skids] A 6─hour cocktail party, held every night of SHARE
   and GUIDE meetings, during which customers [sometimes successfully]
   ply IBMers with alcoholic beverages in plastic cups to try to find
   out what's coming next.  Officially stands for "Social Contact and
   Informal Discussion Sessions."  More familiarly known as the
   "Society for Cultivation of Indiscretions via Drinking Sessions."

Scratch ─── v. Erase.  "Please scratch the tape".  Scratch is always a
   deliberate action, rather than an accident.  Also used as an adj.
   "This is a Scratch Tape".

Service ─── v. 1. To handle an interrupt.  Interrupt handlers seldom
   appear in AI programs. 2. Fix bugs.  See Critical service.

Seven Dwarfs ─── n. Originally the expression "IBM and the Seven
   Dwarfs" described the entire computer industry.  The Dwarfs were
   Burroughs, Honeywell, NCR, Univac, RCA, General Electric, and the
   new upstart, CDC.  Since then RCA and GE have dropped out.  Some
   consider DEC to have become sufficiently respectable to constitute a
   sixth, but no present─day seventh comes to mind.  Dwarfs are at
   least in principle exempt from the definitions of Minicomputer and
   Vector Processor since they are deemed to produce 'ordinary'
   computers like IBM.

Ship ─── v. used to signify movement of a product from a point A to a
   point B even though the vehicle or mode of transport would
   inevitably sink if placed on the surface of the ocean.  It is
   possible to ship items by road, rail, plane or even by electronic
   networks.  See FCS.

Showstopper ─── n. 1. Unfixed bug.  Likely to cause a Crash. 2.
   Unsurmountable problem that may kill a project.

Shriek ─── n. Exclamation point, popular among APL users.  See also
   Splat.

Slash ─── n. Virgule [a "/"].  Also Slashslash ─ the JCL identifier, as
   in "Slashslash deedee splat" [// DD *].

Slip ─── n. An extension to a schedule deadline.  A slip implies that
   the developer intends to complete the project, but was too
   aggressive in his schedule.  As a rule of thumb, if a schedule slip
   of one month is announced, the project is likely to be ready after
   two extra months.

Slot ─── n. Position to be filled.  "I have a slot for a Project
   Programmer."  See Headcount.

Softcopy ─── adj.  Machine readable.

Softy ─── adj.  Affectionate term used by engineers to describe a
   software expert who knows very little about hardware.  Software
   experts seem to have no affectionate terms for engineers.

Solution ─── v. [Very popular at South Road Labs, Poughkeepsie.] Same
   as "solve":  "We must solution this problem".  The form "solutioned"
   is also used for "solved".

Speak Up! ─── n. A well─administered programme which allows employees
   to make a genuinely anonymous complaint to any level of management
   about any IBM─related subject.  Replies to Speak Up!s range from
   [occasional] positive acceptance of the complaint and a resultant
   change to [usually] a patronising brush─off which may aggravate the
   original feeling of dissatisfaction.

Spec─Writer ─── n. The person who writes the functional specifications
   for a product.  Since this is a boring unimaginative job, it is
   often given to boring unimaginative people.  Since this person
   effectively has the final say in what goes into the spec., this
   often leads to [you've guessed it] products.

Special assistant to ─── adj.  Idle.  A manager for whom no use can be
   found any longer is made "Special Assistant to" some higher echelon.
   His activities from then on are completely without consequence.  See
   also Staff.

Speculate ─── v. To tell secrets.  "Q:  Why does the IBMPC
   Documentation refer to an assembler, when there is none announced?"
   "A:  I'm sorry, but I cannot speculate on that in public."

Spin system ─── n. The system that FE are prepared to fix bugs on.
   [Pre─FCS systems are not spin systems.] The term probably refers to
   the system that is actually spinning on the system disk drive.  See
   Floor System.

Splat ─── n. Asterisk, as in the JCL statement "// DD *" [pronounced
   "slashslash deedee splat"].

Spool ─── v. To move data from one disk pack to another.  Usage:
   "Please spool that new file to me".  See Punch, Net.

Spring Plan ─── n. A period of three months occurring every spring,
   when most productive work stops.  The plan, once adopted, is
   ignored.  See Fall Plan.

Stack ─── n. Alternative [incorrect] name for a Queue.  Probably
   originally from Cambridge [MA].

Staff ─── n. A person with no responsibility but an amount of power
   correlated with his personal charisma.  It is usually very hard to
   determine how seriously one should deal with a staff person.  A
   staff person is usually supposed to be helping the workers
   accomplish their jobs but more often is asking about something or
   asking for something.  He can usually be ignored completely.
   However, occasionally someone with a great deal of charisma lands in
   a staff job and carries great weight with higher management [usually
   yours].  [This particular breed of "staff" is difficult to detect.]

Statement of Direction ─── n. -. IBM's commitment to a comprehensive
   [e.g. text processing] strategy incorporating all current products.
   2. A phrase used to cover up the absence of any strategy.

Strategic ─── adj.  Used to designate a major IBM product, to which IBM
   is prepared to commit significant resources.  A project manager will
   do ANYTHING to get his product classified "strategic".

Suggestions Programme ─── n. Lottery whereby an employee can [by
   wasting IBM time filling in a form] get cash for ideas which someone
   else will have to implement.  Indeed, sometimes a whole Task Force
   can be set up to consider the suggestion.

Surface ─── v. To bring to someones attention.  "We should surface that
   issue at the next staff meeting."

Susie Cobol ─── n. A programmer straight out of training school who
   knows everything ─ except the benefits of commentary.  Also
   [fashionable among personkind these days to avoid accusations of
   being sexist] Sammy Cobol.

'SYNTAX ERROR' ─── n. General message put out by compilers and
   interpreters when a] the error was never expected to occur; or b]
   when the programmer got tired of dreaming up new error messages for
   trivial cases.

Talk to ─── v. 1. Discuss.  "I will talk to that detail later".
   Usually means that the speaker hopes his audience will drop the
   subject. 2. The act of communicating with another [usually of
   machines]. e.g:  These machines talk to each other, but do they
   understand?  Is one talking French and the other listening in
   German?

Tandem Memos ─── n. A phrase to worry middle management.  Refers to the
   widely distributed computer conference in which many technical
   personnel expressed dissatisfaction with the tools available to
   them, and also constructively criticised the way in which IBM does
   business.  If you have not seen the memos, try reading the November
   1981 Datamation summary.

Task Force ─── n. 1. [Official Definition] High powered group of
   experts appointed to solve some problem of pressing urgency. 2.
   [Unofficial Definition [a]] A group of people with nothing better to
   do, with plenty of time to generate arguments and [sometimes]
   reports. 3. [Unofficial Definition [b]] A useful place for
   management to hide people who have nothing better to do than natter
   on about things.  [Note:  It is said that Task Forces have
   occasionally produced [useful] results.  There exists no evidence to
   support this hypothesis.]

Technology ─── n. A particular flavour of silicon manufacturing
   process.  "We can't put the whole channel on one chip until we go to
   the next technology."

Test ─── v. 1. In a bad development laboratory, the process of getting
   a few bored people to try one or two of the things mentioned in the
   product specification [i.e. to try the things the developers had
   already considered]. 2. In a good development laboratory, the
   process of allowing real users to use a product for a significant
   amount of time before announcement.  This may have occurred once.

Test Bucket ─── n. Set of test cases to run against a product during
   development to check that it performs basic functions correctly.

Thesis ─── n. See Paren.

THINK ─── v. A well─established IBM acronym which is so
   well─established that no one can remember what it originally meant.
   Said to exemplify an ideal that IBM employees are prevented from
   achieving.

Think small ─── Hardware/software test strategy.  Technique is to
   exercise the most primitive function to prove to yourself it works
   before trying more complex [and presumably failing] function.  When
   people forget this basic strategy, they are gently reminded to
   "think small".

Token ─── n. [in CMS] 8─character alphanumeric operand which just
   happened to fit the size of one of the 370 basic atoms of storage
   [the Doubleword].

Topside ─── n. The higher management echelons of a project or group.
   "We'll go in Topside with that problem" means to attack a problem
   from top management downwards.

Toy ─── 1. n. A computer program that can be understood. 2. n. A
   project in which the coding is a significant part of the effort [in
   a "real" project, coding is a negligible portion of the costs]. 3.
   adj.  Describes a tool which is great for teaching but lacks basic
   facilities needed for doing real work.

Trailing Edge ─── adj.  Slow to change.  Used in marketing to denote an
   account who are not interested in SNA, IMS, MVS etc.  Usage:  "XYZ
   are a real trailing edge account".  [Note that "account" describes
   people in this usage.]

Translucent ─── n. 1. A change which is supposed to affect a user or
   system very slightly.  Used when a claim of Transparency would not
   be believed. 2. A change which requires a huge effort to adapt to.

Transparent ─── n. A change which is not supposed to affect a user or
   system.  Used when talking to Change Control to clinch the argument.
   "It's transparent!".  Sadly, transparency seems a relative thing
   [relatively rare] ─ after all, if truly transparent, why make the
   change?

Tri─lead ─── n. A wire.  Consists of a central conductor with a earth
   [ground] wire each side.  Effective as a signal carrier, but
   contacts have been known to be less than ideal.

Trick ─── adj.  Code that cannot be understood by a newly trained
   programmer.  The term is used during programming phase reviews:
   "The use of the translate instruction to reverse the string is a
   neat trick, but it can be made clearer and more understandable by
   the use of a DO Loop".

Trickological ─── adj.  Written more to glorify the tricks than to get
   the function performed.  A trickological program of the highest
   order can be comprehended only by its author.  It is especially easy
   [indeed, almost trivial] to write one of these in APL.

Trivial ─── adj. 1. Possible.  Used to convey the impression that the
   speaker is an expert in a subject and that the method of solution
   should be immediately obvious to everyone else in the room.
   Normally used when no one in the room [including the speaker] can
   think of a solution. 2. Easy.  Used to imply that if the speaker had
   the responsibility of carrying out the task, it would be done in a
   matter of minutes.  But, alas, it is someone else's job...  Also 3.
   Non─trivial anything the speaker does not really want to do.
   "That's a non─trivial change".

Trouble Came Back ─── n. [TCB] Colloquialism used by maintenance people
   to describe an intermittent or difficult─to─reproduce problem which
   has failed to respond to neglect.  See No Problem Found and Go Away.

True Blue ─── adj.  An account that uses only IBM equipment.

User Friendly ─── adj. 1. Used to describe a program that was used by
   more than one person before being distributed. 2. Also used to
   describe hardware or software that is not easy to use, but needs to
   be sold.

Vanilla ─── adj.  Standard flavor, e.g. as shipped to Customers. e.g.
   "You mean it is possible to run Vanilla CP?".  See Chocolate.  Often
   used in a somewhat deprecating way.

User Friendly ─── adj. 1. Used to describe a program that was used by
   more than one person before being distributed. 2. Also used to
   describe hardware or software that is not easy to use, but needs to
   be sold.

Vanilla ─── adj.  Standard flavor, e.g. as shipped to Customers. e.g.
   "You mean it is possible to run Vanilla CP?".  See Chocolate.  Often
   used in a somewhat deprecating way.

Vector Processor ─── n. Any machine with a non─370 compatible
   architecture that runs over 3 MIPS.  There is an implicit slight
   here that it is not a real "commercial" machine, since vector
   processors typically are used for scientific applications.
   Presumably, when a "vector processor" is given a commercial job
   stream, it will not run any faster than the fastest 370.  See
   Mini─Computer.

Vehicle ─── n. Indirect means to achieve some result [usually in the
   marketplace].  "We will focus on the F machines as the key vehicle
   for the new user interface ..".

Vend Out ─── v. To contract out some item to an outside vendor.  A
   favourite way to avoid security restrictions ─ recently the contract
   for making the foils for a presentation describing the IBM corporate
   five─year plan was vended out...

Vendor ─── n. A company that either supplies something to IBM, or
   supplies something to IBM customers.  See OEM.

Vendor Technology ─── n. Semiconductor technology produced outside IBM.
   The implication is that any variety of technology can be produced by
   IBM, but "out there" they can only manage one type.

Verb ─── n. Any word [i.e. any noun may be misused as a verb].  "There
   is no word in the English language that cannot be verbed".

Virgin ─── adj.  Unmodified version of a program [e.g. as received from
   PID].  It is interesting to note that the first modification to such
   code is usually that which is most desired.  See also Vanilla.

Virtual ─── adj. a term used to indicate that things are not what they
   seem to be.  Generally means that you can see it, but it is not
   really there.

Visibility ─── n. A project that has "visibility" is much in the eye of
   others.  This makes it high [political] risk ─ the workers involved
   may find themselves showered with awards, or may find themselves the
   scapegoats for others.  The latter is the more likely, of course.

Visionary ─── n. Someone who reads the outside literature.

Vital records ─── n. Records which are supposed to enable a project to
   restart with minimal loss in the event of disaster.  Usually three
   to six months out of date, and often suffering from inconsistency,
   it is just as well that they have never really been needed.

Walk in the Woods ─── n. Put on the shelf, as in "the product was a
   disaster, so they sent him for a walk in the woods".  See Penalty
   Box.

Wall follower ─── adj.  Simpleton.  An early robot building contest
   which involved running a maze was won by a mechanism which only
   sensed and followed the right─hand wall.  Robots which tried to
   learn as they traversed the maze did not do as well.

Wansdyke ─── n. Mysterious caverns in England, "somewhere" near the
   ancient Saxon earthwork known as Wansdyke, where vital records are
   stored.  UK equivalent of Iron Mountain.

Warm Fuzzies ─── n. The kind of feeling it is alleged that you get when
   you think you are proceeding in the right direction, or when you are
   being treated well by your manager.  This state of mind is usually
   of short duration, and is succeeded by "Cold pricklies".  See Cold
   Pricklies.

Water ─── n. Orders for equipment which the customer does not intend to
   accept.  "The first─day orders set a new record, but they must be at
   least a third water".  Major causes include:  place─holding orders
   while the customer tries to figure out what has been announced;
   dropout due to multi─year delivery schedules; and Christmas presents
   to deserving salesmen.

Watson Freeway ─── n. The sections of Interstates 684 and 287 which
   connect Corporate HQ [Armonk] with DPD HQ [1133, see below] via
   Harrison.

WIBNI ─── [wib─knee] n. Acronym for "Wouldn't It Be Nice If", usually
   used to describe useful but difficult to implement additions to
   software systems.  "I have a WIBNI for the zorch function."

Wild Duck ─── n. Creative technical person who does unconventional
   things, or at least does things in an unconventional way.  Implies
   respect, and a feeling that many of his ideas turn out to be
   valuable.  Usually applied only to males.  It is said that IBM does
   not mind having a few wild ducks around ─ so long as they fly in
   formation.

Yellow brick road ─── n. Route 9, Poughkeepsie.  The road on which you
   travel to see the Wizard of OZ.  See OS.

Yellow Wire ─── 1. n. Hardware fix [the reliability of a product is
   inversely proportional to the number of yellow wires]. 2. v. To
   wire─wrap.

Zap ─── v. To alter the machine code of a program by storing directly
   into main storage, or by running a program known as SuperZap to have
   a similar effect on the disk resident copy of a program.  This
   practice started in the days when a proper change to program source
   followed by reassembly was task measured in hours.  Now a term for
   shoddy, incomplete work which is likely to cause trouble in future
   because the running version of a program no longer agrees with its
   source ─ a situation which guarantees problems.  "We'll just zap it
   for now and hope tomorrow never comes".  Nowadays Zapping is a dying
   art, and can itself take hours.

1133 ─── n. 1. The multiplexor enclosure for the 1130 Mini─Computer. 2.
   DPD Headquarters, Westchester Avenue, White Plains, NY.

80─column mind ─── n. Always derogatory.  Usually applied to people
   who, conceptually at least, would prefer to be able to lay their
   hands directly on their data, and to whom the transition from cards
   to tape was a traumatic experience.  Nobody has dared tell them
   about disks yet.

& ─── [ampersand].  Character used in many IBM macro and command
   languages in order to make them hard to read and to type.  Helps add
   to the mystique surrounding programmers that use such languages.
   See Command Language.
</pre>